ROWLAND CROUCHER'S STORY

2009-11-10T14:54:00.004-08:00

1. INTRODUCTION

2. CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

3. MEMORIES OF MOTHER

4. AN ABSENT FATHER

5. BRETHREN

6. TEENAGE YEARS

7. THE OUTSIDER – ALWAYS SECOND

8. UNIVERSITY AND WORK EXPERIENCES

9. BATHURST TEACHERS’ COLLEGE

10. TEACHING - AND THREE INTERESTING CHURCHES

11. MANHOOD

12. MARRIAGE

13. CHILDREN

14. NARWEE BAPTIST CHURCH

15. PREACHING

16. THEOLOGICAL COLLEGE

17. INTER-VARSITY FELLOWSHIP

18. MEDIA

19. INTERIM MINISTRIES

20. BLACKBURN BAPTIST CHURCH

21. VANCOUVER

22. FULLER THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

23. WORLD VISION AND ‘GRID’

24. PUBLICATIONS

25. JOHN MARK MINISTRIES

26. COUNSELING

27. SENIOR YEARS

28. REGRETS AND ‘PET PEEVES’

29. MENTORS

30. JOHN STOTT

31. C S LEWIS

32. W E SANGSTER

33. JOHN CLAYPOOL

34. RICHARD ROHR

35. IDEAS

36. PHILOSOPHY OF MINISTRY

37. WHO AM I?

38. SICKNESS & HEALTH

39. GLBTI

40. INTERNET MINISTRIES

41. DAWN ROWAN

42. BAPTIST UNION OF VICTORIA

43. POSTSCRIPT

1. INTRODUCTION

2009-11-10T14:54:00.003-08:00

Hi from Melbourne, Australia

You should understand that those who write books, or a bulky handful of letters, write because of what they lack, not because of what they have. I have written of what I long for, not what I possess; of how I should like to be, not of what I am... (Michael Mayne, This Sunrise of Wonder, p. 308).

I’m writing this second edition of my memoirs from a very peaceful place – the Santa Casa Retreat House in the beautiful seaside town of Queenscliff, Victoria (Australia). Our facilitator has asked the small group of retreatants: ‘Why did you come here? What are you asking the Lord to do with/for you?’ She then read the Scriptures ('Live/abide in me, and I’ll live/abide in you', Jesus in John 15).

Update: It's now a year later (October 2010) - on a 10-day retreat at my friends Bruce and Yvonne Morey's place on the Gold Coast, Queensland.

It's been a busy year, and I'm a little further removed from my birth-day and closer to my death-day! But I still want to 'Live fully, love wastefully, and be all God intends me to be...'

~~~~~

I've re-arranged this blog into date/theme order: you'll be able to start at the beginning (a very good place to start :-) and move through the blog to the present...

There are some interesting things happening in my 'present':

I've become more progressive theologically on a couple of matters (eg. homosexuality).
I'm spending less time preaching/seminaring/counselling (though I reckon I'm doing all those ministries better than ever) and
more time in quiet reflection and prayer and writing.
In 2011 I believe the Lord is reinforcing a calling to communicate with more people online as well as through my books (current total readership - many more than a million a month from this keyboard: the fulfilment of a teenager's evangelistic/pedagogical dream).
IOW I'm now to be more useful as well as decorative in terms of church-attendance: every second Sunday morning (when our home is quietest) I'll be ministering to folks on Facebook, the Website, blogs, emailing. For example, I've just posted this onto my Facebook site: Dear friends: Let's take a risk and trust one another: Complete the sentence... 'For me, this Christmas-week is awful / full of rich memories / joyful / full of grief / a nothing-week / a waste of money and emotional energy / a high-point in my year's worship experiences...' etc. etc. Because.... (complete the sentence). And let's pray for/support one another at this time...

~~~~~

How does a longish book or blog get written? Mostly little by little, concept after concept, in bits and pieces over many days, months, or even years…

You are now about to witness the ongoing process of my writing an autobiography. Some of it will be messy - headings, jottings, ideas that may not make much sense (yet!). A paragraph or two will appear each few days, or weeks. If I'm on holidays or I've taken a week off from seeing people to write, you might have to suffer large chunks!

I'm doing this, frankly, for my benefit. I want to reflect on my past, my present, and, yes, my future. If you have a reason to take this journey with me (I was nearly going to say, 'If you have nothing better to do!') you're welcome. I hope some of my learnings might be helpful to you. Was it Confucius who said 'The wise person learns from others' mistakes before they make their own'?

One of the key ingredients of my personal and professional life has been my tendency to be an iconoclast, something of a free spirit. Fortunately, I've mostly had jobs/ministries where I've not been encumbered by institutional pressures to 'say the right thing' if by doing so I've had to compromise the truth. But speaking my mind has sometimes got me into trouble with institutionophiles! Being a risk-taker gets the attention of two kinds of people: thought-police who are – deep down – threatened by a new idea, especially one which might attack their long-held prejudices; but the second group are my main target-audience: those who are hungry for a new reality to take the place of whatever ideas or life-habits are unsatisfying.

The brilliant Australian cartoonist Michael Leunig wrote:

If I could be a lovely chap

Life would fall into my lap

And all my words would sound so nice

You'd want to hear me say them twice.

But what I want to say to you

Is only what I think is true

And so, alas, I'll always be

A rather unattractive me.

Occasionally I get feedback about how I'm perceived 'out there'. Friend: 'Rowland, you're very much loved, but sometimes hated.' 'Who hates me?' 'Those who are threatened by your provocative encouragement to think outside the box, mostly!'

Another strange aspect of my personality is an aversion to more-of-the-same for too long. If my job gets boring, I’m outa there! So you’ll notice that I’ve moved among several very interesting vocations – or, I’d prefer to say, God moved me on. I’m constitutionally a pioneer rather than a settler. (Feedback from my denomination's officials used to be: 'Rowland doesn't stay in any ministry for very long!').

Continuing this confession-time: I've also been innoculated with a pedagogical serum: I love sharing what I've learned with others. Whether they agree or not is of no concern to me (with some rare exceptions if they happen to be significant others). With priest-sociologist-novelist Andrew Greeley people say I’ve never had an unpublished thought. Well, I reckon I’m in good company!

Think about this:

The impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned, is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes. (Annie Dillard)

And this:

'Sir, My husband, T S Eliot, loved to recount how one evening he stopped a taxi. As he got in the driver said: "You're T S Eliot." When asked how he knew, he replied, "Ah, I've got an eye for celebrity. Only the other evening I picked up Bertrand Russell and I said to him 'Well, Lord Russell, what's it all about?' and, do you know, he couldn't tell me.'" (Letter to The Times, 7 February, 1970).

I wrote this in Facebook and also to a couple of Usenet newsgroups: ‘Thank you Lord that you love me before I change, as I change, after I change, and whether I change or not!’ That last bit always gets the attention of the Pharisee-in-all-of-us. One Usenet respondent asked ‘You mean God loves demons who will always be evil and never change?’

So today I wrote this: ‘Does God love demons?’

First, complete the sentence ‘God is…’ Second: if Jesus commands us to love our enemies, are we saying God cannot do what he asks us to do? Third, Pharisees rank order God’s creatures along a continuum of ‘easy to love’ to ‘unloveable’: and the more conservative the Pharisee the more creatures inhabit the unloveable end of the spectrum. Now, I respond, does that mean God’s love encompasses a human or demonic creature who will never be redeemed? To which I reply ‘If love is unconditional, it is therefore not contingent upon the creature’s being redeemed or not.’ Think about it. (So far more than 50 people have argued about that: here I’ve reproduced some of the most interesting responses).

Anyway, I digress (that happens often in my written and verbal communications, but I hope those rabbit-trails prove interesting). Another challenging part of this review will be to select the most life-changing experiences I've had. Emotionally, I reckon falling in love with my wife 53 years ago (it's still happening!) and the births of our four children were the most powerful. (I was present when the last two entered the outside world, but wasn't allowed back in the 1960s when the two eldest were born).

I look forward to walking with you through these 73 years, via many interesting ideas and experiences ...

Shalom!/Salaam!

Rowland Croucher

P.S. A little note or two about my name:

* My mother called me Rowland because she and my father had read a little Religious Tract Society booklet on the English preacher Rowland Hill (1744-1833). Interesting character: he ran a Sunday School for 3000 children, and was passionate about members of the British and Foreign Bible Society not having to subscribe to a particular doctrinal stance (I like that - though my parents would have been more conservative on that issue).

* I've only heard of four other humans with the same Christian and surname (spelt Rowland Croucher).

I'm the only one alive (how am I supposed to think about that?).

From the Mormon site familysearch.org.:

Rowland Croucher - buried 22 May, 1826, York, England
Rowland Russell Croucher - christening 1869, Hampshire, England
Rowland Henry Basil Croucher - christening 21 November 1888, Hampshire, England

Another was a gentleman who lived on the north island of New Zealand, who died a decade ago.

There are several gents with the name Roland Croucher living in the U.S....

(Add all that to your store of useless information)!

****

Come, let's travel together. The next chapter's about my childhood.

October 2010

2. CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

2009-11-10T14:54:00.001-08:00

I was born to a godly Plymouth Brethren couple in the 1930s. My mother says I could recite Psalm 23 (KJV of course) when I was three! A text I memorized early: Proverbs 3:5: 'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy paths'.

As a child I remember World War 2 air-raid sirens; catching (and killing, sadly) blue-tongued lizards; wandering away from home and getting thrashed with a military belt when I returned; a schoolboy friend riding his bicycle downhill out of control and into a bus. At Mortdale Primary School I remember watching an amazing athlete - Reg Gasnier - excel at any sport he chose (he later became Australia's best-ever rugby league centre); the Gould League of Bird Lovers' group practising their bird-calls (they won State competitions); being milk monitor and drinking up to seven cups of milk every day over a couple of years: I've never broken a bone, despite many sporting adventures! And I read all the Biggles, William, Deerfoot and R.M.Ballantyne books I could get hold of. I learned to play the piano, winning several awards until I reached 'sixth grade' by the age of 12. Whenever I hear Chopin's Military Polonaise or Paderewski's Minuet I remember with delight the joy of making piano-music.

Sayings from my parents come back to mind. One of their favourites: 'Spare the rod and spoil the child!' A variant: ''Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him!' My parents backed up a lot of things with a Bible verse. Of course, back then 'children should be seen and not heard!' My mother would scold us if we forgot something: 'You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on!'

Books have always been a special part of my life. A boyhood friend in our Assembly, David Clines, now a professor of Old Testament in a British University, was a great reader, as was his father. They inculcated a love for reading and a thirst for knowledge which has been with me all my life. David was also probably the only friend I ever had with whom I could exchange ideas uninhibitedly. My father had about 100 books mainly by old Brethren authors (like C.A.C., C.H.M., J.N.Darby, and William Kelly).

I read today of the trial of a pedophile (who called himself a 'hebephile'). It reminded me of Frank Beckman from our street who lived with his elderly mother, taught us to collect junk, and who took my brother Graham and me on long trips, and told us suggestive stories.. We could easily have been victims of a pedophile's abuse. He later committed suicide.

I attended Mortdale Primary School for the whole of my pre-secondary education, and can't remember an unhappy time there. Michael Hornibrook, son of a school principal, used to come first in the class, and I'd be second, and Malcolm Butters would be up there as well.

At recess and lunchtime we'd play 'cockylora' ('British Bulldog'), with two teams and a couple of taggers in the middle. We'd run from one place to another, and the taggers would have to catch and hold us while they said 'Cockylora 1-2-3'. Good training for my later Rugby Union years!

One of the tricks I learned was to shake hands with people holding some 'itchy powder' in one's hand (from a tree at the bottom of the school-yard). Or worse: put it down someone's back. Another trick: when some is chasing you down the hill, drop to the ground in front of them, curl up, and enjoy them falling over you!

On the way home to Oatley we played 'follow on' marbles. One afternoon someone on a pushbike ran over my precious 'connie agate' marble and I never saw it again. I vaguely remember a friend who lived around the corner - Brian Lutterell - and another who lived up the street - Malcolm Butters (and who was the only other boy from Mortdale Primary School to accompany me to Sydney Boys' High). I think he taught me to poke fun at Oatley's 'village idiot' - a sad man who walked the streets incessantly who when prompted with 'Clark Click' used to click his fingers very loudly.

The List of Principals during my time at Mortdale included Alfred Vaughan (1944) and William Edgar (1946). Those names are only dimly remembered (which probably means that I didn't get into trouble too much).

=== CHILDHOOD SONGS ===

Some Christian songs (from our Oatley Brethren Assembly meetings) and secular/folk songs (from school) arrive without warning into my brain from time to time:

* Songs from Brethren meetings: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus,

* 'Into my heart, into my heart, come into my heart Lord Jesus; Come in today, come in to stay, come into my heart Lord Jesus'.

* "Open My Eyes, That I May See" by Clara H. Scott. Words & Music: Clara H. Scott, in Best Hymns No. 2, by Elisha A. Hoffman & Harold F. Sayles (Chicago, Illinois: Evangelical Publishing Company, 1895)

Open my eyes, that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

Refrain

Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready my God, Thy will to see,
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit divine!

Open my ears, that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear.

Refrain

Open my mouth, and let me bear,
Gladly the warm truth everywhere;
Open my heart and let me prepare
Love with Thy children thus to share.

Refrain

*****

At school (Mortdale Primary) we had regular ABC school broadcasts, which emanated from a box on the wall at the front of the classroom. In Mr Farrell's class (3rd and 5th grade) and Mr Gardiner's (4th grade) we learned lots of songs - mainly English folk songs. Like:

* All Through the Night

* Where have you been all the day, Billie Boy?

* The Song of the Volga Boatmen

* Where'ere You Walk

Others I'll add when they come to mind!

3. CHILDHOOD - A NURTURING MOTHER

2009-11-10T14:53:00.000-08:00

(17 December 2002): My mother passed away last week. Yesterday Jan and I with our three daughters Karen, Amanda and Lindy returned from Sydney, where with about 70 others we had a wonderful celebration of her life. A Brethren Assembly elder Ray Cooke began his tribute with this story:

Three old mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about how much their sons love them.

Sadie says, "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves his mother."

Minnie says, "You call that love? You know the Eldorado Cadillac I just got for Mother's Day? That's from my son Bernie. What a doll."

Shirley says, "That's nothing. You know my son Stanley? He's in analysis with a psychoanalyst on Park Ave. Five sessions a week. And what does he talk about? Me."

~~~

My mother was called 'Sadie' most of her life, but was born Sabina Alice McKenzie, at Lilyfield, Sydney, on the 29th August, 1911, the third of seven girls. She met my father, Albert Reginald Croucher at a Christian camp at Wyee on the central north coast of New South Wales, then conducted a courtship where they met regularly at the corner of Bay and Cameron Streets, Rockdale, Sydney. (Hence the middle name - Cameron - for their firstborn).

(Mum and Dad were married on 15/2/36. Dad died on 27/12/ 94. Therefore they were married 58 nearly 59 years.)

'Motherhood' is a universal cliché for unconditional love and goodness. Mothers, more than anyone else in the human race, mean well. They want the best for us. And they know exactly what's best for us, because they spent countless hours thinking about it, even before we were born.

On our website, there's over 1,000 funny stories. But not many jokes about mothers. Motherhood, apparently, isn't very funny, compared to other human roles and predicaments!

~~~

Our family was averagely happy (and in material terms fairly well-provided-for: though I have memories of going to school without shoes). I can remember a bit of niggling here and there between my parents, but only one row that I would put into the category of 'spectacular'. My father came home from working all day on 'the block' (our property in Louisa Street Oatley) and he complained when Mum had no meat for his dinner. They raged at each other and my mother collapsed crying, whereupon my father picked her up and carried her on to a sofa.

Socially, all our friends were from 'the Assemblies'. The Goss family (four girls! and a son) were the closest. Heather Goss is one of the most amazing Christian saints I've known. She still 'teaches Scripture' to half a dozen classes a week - and she's in her 90s!

My mother was the stronger of my two parents - intellectually (though her knowledge about many things was minimal, and many of her opinions uninformed) and emotionally. Like most over-mothered / under-fathered males my emotional journey, negatively, has been away from dominant women.

I've only had one female spiritual director, and the moment she got 'directive' was the moment to leave that encounter. I recently attended a conference where we formed 'response groups'. There were no appointed leaders or suggested processes, so it was 'survival of the fittest', at least in our group. A dominant (though smiling and quietly-spoken) middle-aged female sort of took charge, suggested protocols like no one speaking twice until everyone had spoken once, etc. This man-hating angry feminist began one session by responding to one male's input by saying 'I don't think we need to hear any more of this...' with which another female agreed. And she didn't abide by her own suggested protocols: in one session she had (by my count) seven inputs to four others' one. Argggh!!! I found a reason after that to avoid attending the group. Life's too short...

Back to mum: the dominant character trait of my mother was her goodness.

She was a good woman. Emphasis, first, on 'woman': she was somewhat ambivalent about males: they were an enigma/mystery to her (no wonder: she had six sisters and no brothers). 'Boys!' she would tsck! tsck! to the three of us. 'You're just like your father' was not usually said as a compliment. 'Men get the best end of the stick' she said often. As I said, in her marriage to Reg she was undoubtedly the stronger personality - and probably got her way more often than vice versa. (Certainly most of the put-downs came from her direction.). He was probably frustrated sexually: sex was only for producing babies she once sagely told my then-wife-to-be!

But she was a good parent. We knew she loved us. As a high-schooler I remember her anxious tears when the train from the city was an hour late. She was there when I came home from school - right through Primary School years (common back then, unusual now). She forced me to sit at the piano for an hour to practice every day for many years. (The old fashioned chiming clock sat on the piano, and the minute hand would often be mysteriously encouraged to move ahead to the end of the hour.. But as there was no other clock to check the time with, I think my manipulations of time were never discovered).

One of the most important sagas in our family history was the time Graham was sent to buy 2lbs of sausages, but when he got home and they were weighed, mum said the butcher had not given him the correct amount. She probably suspected that he had sucked the innards out of several sausages on the way home. But she sent him back to the butcher's to complain. We can't remember the outcome of that episode.

One of our parents' favourite texts was 'Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it!' That was their justification for corporal punishment. (The ultimate weapon was my father's 'military belt': we never told him that because its leather was wider it hurt less!).

She was an old-fashioned parent, in some ways. Whenever I have diarrhoea I think of her enemas, glauber salts, castor oil, and senna powder (yuck!).

My mother bequeathed some important slogans to us. If we were looking for something which was in front of us, she would say 'If it had teeth it would bite you.' Or if we lost something: 'You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!' We had to stay out of draughts, 'cos we might catch a cold, which might develop into pneumonia and we might die.

She was a good cook. I remember fondly the rhubarb pies, and the bread-and-butter puddings and the Christmas puddings with threepences in them. We also had foods we don't eat any more - like bread and dripping, and tripe, and lambs' brains, and stewed rabbit.

From my brother Graham:

"A few reminiscences that come to mind concerning Mum are:

* Her favourite quotation "You wait till your father gets home!" You'll recall Mum's bruising easily and punishment was generally Dad's problem.
* Her favourite authority was "Professor Kirk". Whenever a remedy was needed Professor Kirk's book came off the shelf.
* Usually castor oil for stomach upsets and cod liver oil for coughs. I still don't know why we had to undergo the weekly glauber salts / senna ritual!!
* Her favourite pastime - mending socks mainly but elbows of jumpers sometimes with that little wooden thing that looks like a mushroom.
* Her favourite afternoon chore - making bread and dripping sandwiches for when we came home from school.
* Her hardest task - trying to get us to help her weed the gardens and lawns.
* One of her best friends - Mrs Smart - the Salvation Army lady who made clothes for you, Rowland, which were later passed on to me and finally to David. They were that good."

My mother was a good money-manager. They had two mortgages when we lived at Mortdale, and no car, no radio (and no pets!). One reason we had no radio was because it was an instrument of the devil - who was 'the prince of the power of the air'.

We got pocket-money for collecting horse-manure to fertilize our garden (sixpence per billy-cart full). But when I qualified to enter a prestigious and selective high school, Sydney Boys' High, her pride knew no bounds. She took me to David Jones' store in the city (of Sydney) to buy the whole recommended school uniform (some of it - like the school hat - I don't think I ever wore!).

She worked as a legal secretary, at 'Reed, Hanigan and Turner's' for many years after her three boys all went to school. She worked hard to provide the educational opportunities she felt deprived of.

Above all, my mother was a good Christian.

My earliest memory was her singing old-time hymns while doing the housework: I was in the sun-room of our home in Broughton Street in the middle-class Sydney suburb of Mortdale, and I can still see the sunbeams coming through the window.

She was an old-fashioned Christian. If you enjoyed doing something on Sundays there was probably something wrong with it. Sport was not encouraged ('Bodily exercise profiteth little.').

My mother was the one who instilled a sense of 'good morals' in me - mainly motivated by the prospect of facing God's judgment. Her favorite text: 'Thou God seest me'. She made me sing a little song whenever I was caught telling a lie: 'Keep me true, Lord Jesus, keep me true; Keep me true, Lord Jesus, keep me true; There's a race that I must run, there are victories to be won; Keep me true, Lord Jesus, keep me true.'

This morning on the Irish Jesuit prayer site this was the Scripture reading (from Matthew 19: 16-22): Then someone came to Jesus and said, "Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?" And he said to him, "Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments." He said to him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; Honour your father and mother; also, You shall love your neighbour as yourself."

We three sons honour her. She was a good mother, a good woman, and a very good Christian.

4. CHILDHOOD - AN ABSENT FATHER

2009-11-10T14:52:00.002-08:00

Eight or nine Christmases ago I buried my father. My two brothers asked if I - the professional clergyperson - would offer the eulogy at his funeral. That was a difficult ask, because, well, I didn't know my father. Never had. When I was a young teenager I despised him. I was reading a book a day back then, and I would occasionally be silly enough to ask him a question - only to be told 'Get your head out of those books, Rowland, they're giving you wrong ideas!' As a mid-teen (fortunately) I made a conscious decision to forgive him, and accept him, even if he was the most uncreative, boring person I knew. Occasionally since then I tried to get close to him, especially when in his 60s he had a psychotic breakdown, but, no, he responded with 'Don't ask those personal questions, Rowland.'

Now what are fathers for? Role-models about how to solve problems and take responsibility, initiators into manhood, leaders and providers, yes, yes, yes. When I was preparing the eulogy, and with a blank page in front of me after many hours of thinking about him, I phoned some of his old friends. 'What would you say?' I asked them. Their consensus: 'Well, to be honest Rowland, your dad probably lived the last sixty years of his life without welcoming a new idea. He got the same train from Mortdale or Oatley to the city (of Sydney) every day, moved paper across the face of the earth for the government, and got the same train home again. He didn't have to think on his job, or in our church (a small Brethren assembly - more of that later). But one thing you can say about him: he was predictable, yes, but you could also call it faithful.

Now that was an 'aha' experience for me. In the wash-up of a person's life, someone who was supposed to be your mentor - what would you prefer him to be, if you had to make the tough choice: brilliant, or faithful? You can find brilliance anywhere, but faithfulness? I am now deeply grateful for my father's life, even though I can't remember ever exchanging a meaningful sentence about anything. He has modeled a faithful life, and I too am a disciplined person as a direct result of his influence.

I've told a few people and a few conferences that I've never really felt I had anything to grieve about since my father died. I have never shed a tear for him, nor felt inclined to. That has been a liberating thing for many who heard me say it: and for me, too, I guess.

Update: I've just returned (July 2007) from a speaking trip to the Anglican diocesan clergy conference in Bathurst NSW. There I jotted down this wisdom from someone: 'Each of us has to mourn the parent we had, and also, very importantly, the parent we didn't have'.

Update 2010. Reading Margaret Marcuson's Leaders Who Last - excellent by the way - I've realized again why am I a Baptist pastor and not an Anglican! Ecclesiology/theology yes; but mainly family systems theory. As an eldest/responsible son of an underfunctioning father I could not easily cope in my one short life with similar bishops! When I was a school-teacher, in IVF, World Vision etc. the only 'good' bosses (Lew Ellem, Ian Burnard, and Harold Henderson respectively) gave me maximum autonomy. Anyone else identify with that?

And another important note: My father's father was a simple man: he polished brass in a building at Redfern for a living. I remember he came by train to our home in Oatley one night, and my father asked him: how did you find your way here? My grandfather said: 'Oh I got off the train, and simply followed another person'. I remember as a kid having an 'aha' moment then! My father did a better job than his father, and I think I've done a better job of fathering than my father did. But my kids are better parents than I was. And hopefully that will continue through to our grandchildren's parenting!

5. THE BRETHREN

2009-11-10T14:52:00.001-08:00

The so-called Brethren ('Plymouth Brethren', but we preferred to be called 'Christian Brethren') have had an influence on Western Christianity out of all proportion to their numbers. The missionary work they have done in places like the Sahel regions of Africa, Russia, and Argentina, has not yet been fully told. They began in England and Ireland in the 1800's as a reaction to the formalism and clericalism of the Established Church. Their household names include people like Darby, Kelly, Muller... However, in reacting against the traditionalism of other churches they have fallen into the trap of developing their own hard, unbending traditions. As a result, Brethren Assemblies are dying everywhere, if they are not changing.

The Assembly in which I grew up met in the Masonic Hall in the Sydney suburb of Oatley. People had to get there early to open windows to let out the smell of beer and cigarettes. It was a semi-open (or semi-closed) Assembly. That is, they believed that non-Brethren Christians might get to heaven (God is gracious) but they couldn't partake of the Lord's Supper. We were not encouraged to read anything by non-Brethren authors or attend non-Brethren churches. But when Billy Graham came to Sydney in 1959 he threw a cat among the pigeons. Just about everyone in our Assemblies believed Billy Graham 'preached the gospel' but about a third of them believed he was in error in consorting with 'the churches', and not denouncing 'error' in those churches. But the Billy Graham Crusades were a catalyst, in my memory, for Brethren meeting with, praying with, and counseling with other Christians. That was the beginning of the end of the exclusivism in most Australian Open Brethren Assemblies.

The 'Morning Meeting' / 'Breaking of Bread' was held every Sunday morning. We sat in a large circle, with those not baptized or received into fellowship, or visitors without a 'letter of commendation' from another Assembly having to sit at the back. (I remember the local visiting evangelical Anglican minister sitting back there with us kids one day). The Spirit led various brothers to announce a hymn, or read from the Bible, or pray, and at 11.45 the Spirit led someone to 'give thanks for the bread' (always a loaf which was broken and passed around on two china plates), then after some silence another brother would 'give thanks for the cup' (always a common cup, and real wine). Then someone would 'bring a word'. Then at about 12.10 my father, who was termed 'the corresponding brother' gave the announcements; a closing hymn was sung and at 12.15 (unless there was a visiting brother who didn't know how the Spirit led us and spoke too long) it would be over.

Because the preachers were all self-taught, we had to endure a lot of cliches, and some very simplistic 'addresses' or 'messages' (never 'sermons'). I heard 'The story is told of...' introducing an illustration at least once every Sunday. The cliches extended into the prayers: those who were absent because of illness were 'lying on beds of weakness' (I used to think a good carpenter could fix that!), or were absent and needed 'traveling mercies'. On a positive note, nine out of ten of the men (never women in our assembly) preached fairly regularly, so they had an incentive to do some Bible Study and some thinking - which is quite absent except for the professional clergy in most mainline churches.

Sunday School was at 3pm 'sharp!' Sunday afternoons. We sang choruses like Wide, Wide as the Ocean, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, I Will Make You Fishers of Men, Deep and Wide, Two Little Eyes to Look to God etc. One I particularly remember was 'Into the tent where the gipsy boy lay / dying alone at the close of the day / "News of salvation we carry", said he: "Nobody ever has told it to me"... With the refrain: "Tell it again, tell it again, news of salvation repeat o'er and o'er"' - and we certainly did. The choruses told us who was in and who was out. For example: ‘One door and only one/ And yet its sides are two; / I’m on the inside, / On which side are you? / One door and only one, / And yet its sides are two; / I’m on the Lord’s side, / On which side are you?’

My Sunday School teacher when I was about 10 or 11 - George Walker - promised to take us kids to the zoo sometime soon. I got excited about that, and saved my pennies until I had two shillings ready for that trip... which never eventuated.

Every Sunday night there was a Gospel Meeting with messages for the 'unsaved'. I can't ever remember any unsaved ever being there (except some of us kids), but as 'My Word shall not return unto me void' we believed that such preaching absolved us from any other evangelistic activity (except for a few fervent soul-winners who did it with friends/neighbours or visiting sailors). The songs at this meeting were salvation/invitational, like 'Oh the love that sought me/ Oh the blood that bought me / Oh the grace that brought me to himself... Wondrous grace that brought me to himself.' (That stanza jumped into my mind recently after 55 years: what does that say about early memories and approaching dementia?). Another hymn we used to sing on Sunday nights was 'Bringing in the sheaves' - 'We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves'. I hadn't visited a farm when I was a kid, and had no idea what that song meant (and later realized that it was sung more in hope than in realization!).

Some of the most thrilling experiences each boyhood year were the Brethren Assemblies' Harbour Cruise. We would land at Parsley Bay in Sydney Harbour and for the only time I can remember would do something (play soccer) with the men. Then there were the Christian Youth Camps held each year at Towradji or Corrimal on the South Coast of NSW, later at Mt. Victoria in the Blue Mountains. I also enjoyed our annual Sunday School picnics at Carrs' Park in Sydney, with races and games and a man wearing lots of cherries whom we chased.

In our Assembly we never did 'churchy' things like saying the Lord's Prayer or singing 'The Day Thou Gavest Lord is Ended' or reading from written/formal prayers.

But my most enduring memories are of one or two of our elders (they were never called that back then, because of the objections of a Darbyite brother who believed elders were no longer necessary in post-apostolic times) weeping as they talked about Jesus' love and dying. And of Uncle John Clark who always had an open Bible in his home. Mr Harold Messer - who had an important job with the Bush Fires bureaucracy - used to walk two miles morning and night to and from his home in South Hurstville. Mr Alf Clines had a study lined with 1000 books, and was an avid 'Bible student' (and speaker at Brethren bible conferences)...

There were hot discussions about the evils of radio. (One brother said that as Satan was the 'Prince of the power of the air' he controlled radio waves. Later his wife had some sort of nervous breakdown, and the doctor suggested he buy her a radio, so his theology changed at that point. I remember that brother saying to me once as we were talking on the footpath, and a car's brakes screeched nearby: 'If there's an accident, always go straight inside your home!' I wonder if he ever preached on the parable of the Good Samaritan? ). And about whether the 'warning passages' in Hebrews meant some who were once Christians may be in hell. And about the program for the second coming and 'future events' (though most of them were Darby-Scofield Dispensationalists. P.S. Don't worry if you don't know what that means: as Tony Campolo says, it's better to be on the welcoming committee than the program committee for the Second Coming! And as a wise person suggested to me once, ‘Stick to the material between Scofield’s notes’! There was also the visiting speaker with his model of the tabernacle: it was amazing what 'truths' he discerned from such things as the colours of this and that, and even badgers' skins!

However, my memories of Brethren meetings are not all negative, by any means. David Clines and I used to take copious notes of the 'addresses' of G.C.D. Howley, E. R. Rogers and other visiting speakers at Saturday Bible conferences, then type them up. Alfred P. Gibbs was the only Brethren preacher I can remember who had a sense of humour (but, then, he was the only American speaker I'd ever heard!). R. H. Clayton was something of a legend among 'The Assemblies', especially in Victoria: he'd tell us how many squares or whatever were in the mural above the platform. Roly Slade was an imperious-looking man who compered youth rallies: he told us he knew the racing form guide off by heart before he was converted in his 20s or 30s. Dr. Bruce Stephen, a psychiatrist from Scotland, got the Festival of Male Voice Praise going: he was a brilliant pianist. Then there were the Saxby's and the Buckley Bros (from whom we later bought a hi-fi music system for $400), And we were very proud that one of the world's leading evangelical scholars - Professor F F Bruce - belonged to our movement. (But how he coped with a lot of the theological nonsense he had to listen to is a bit mystifying).

When I went to Bathurst Teachers' College in 1957 I had the sort of 'aha' experience that happens to anyone in a sect who meets committed Christians in 'the denominations'. They were godly, prayerful, humble, lovers of the Bible - more so I judged than we were in our Assembly. How could they be like this if they were 'in error'? During one holiday-period from Teachers' College our Assembly had a question-session with a renowned Brethren Bible teacher, Mr. Tom Carson. I wrote down several questions for him. One of them was: 'If the Brethren are the only Christian group that has the truth why are there some very powerful evangelical Christians in other churches? What did Hudson Taylor lack that we have?’ To which the answer, as I recall was: If only he had been one of us, how much more effective he would have been!

I got an email from an ex-Brethren evangelical leader in the U.S. to the effect that many people's testimonies he'd heard ran like this: 'The best decision I ever made was to follow Christ; the second best was to join the Assemblies; the third best was to leave the Assemblies!'

More on the Brethren...

Secret Rapture said... My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand! May 11, 2007 6:41 AM Rowland Croucher said... Put me down as someone who used to know more than the apostles about the subject of the second coming :-)

Rowland Croucher June 26, 2007 3:56 AM

6. TEENAGE YEARS

2009-11-10T14:51:00.002-08:00

Three people who had a significant influence on my life as a young teenager were my grandmother (Croucher), Heather Goss (my mother's bridesmaid, who always seemed to be smiling, despite having a cranky husband), and my Sunday School teacher George Clark.

My occasional visits to Hilltop (Grandma's home was in Stanley Street) were memorable: I can still hear the sounds of the currawongs; I caught a wounded redhead finch one time there and took it home, built a cage for it, bought some others at Paddy's Market, and thus began an interest in pets (small ones - birds and fish).

My father's younger brother, Les, lived with his mother: he was a simple man, but godly - and I spied him a few times kneeling in prayer (something I never saw my father do).

I remember a question Grandma asked me (me!) - 'How can I understand the Book of Revelation?' I'd been reading books about 'Last Things' and probably had a bit of encouragement for her.

George Clark was the man who more than any other, initiated me into manhood. We worked in his garden, he taught me to drive, we had serious conversations, and to men's groups I tell the story of George telling me one afternoon: 'Rowland, I believe God has a great future for you. I reckon you'll do well at whatever you choose... and you'll be successful.' No one had ever said anything like that to me, and those words changed my life. But they were a blessing and a curse. A blessing: you have significance. Curse: your significance will be associated with what you do well in terms of out-performing your peers!' I've lived with that blessing/curse ever since.

~~~~~

I spent five of my teenage years at Sydney Boys’ High School, a selective school to which I traveled half an hour by train, then 15 minutes by tram each way each day.

What did I learn there?

* To wonder at the first Jewish boys I’d ever come across – many of them went around like little old men. They were different (and bright).

* 'Globite' school-bags, made of brown pressed-cardboard, with plenty of room for vegemite sandwiches, fruit, pencil/biro cases, textbooks and notebooks... they were almost indestructible (I still have mine).

* During recess and lunch-time we played soccer with a tennis-ball, or draughts (checkers) or 'sticks' (where you begin with six or eight a foot apart, then step between them without touching, moving a stick where you jump at the end for your opponent to take his turn...

* At the beginning of ‘fifth year’ when teachers were recapping last year’s Leaving Certificate, I learned that you say acquiesce in!

* English teachers cruelled literature - especially Shakespeare - mostly. Pity that. But some poems reverberate in my memory. Like the evocative 'Break, break, break,/ On they cold grey stones, O Sea!/ And I wish that my tongue could utter/ The thoughts that arise in me' (and you know the rest of Tennyson's masterpiece)...

One of the best experiences at SBHS was during my Leaving Certificate when my favourite subject - Geography - was taught by someone who didn't know much about the subject. So I determined to do it on my own - and got 15 marks above an 'A' in the final exam (a grade which pushed up my average, allowing me to earn a Commonwealth Scholarship, and go to University).

I was a self-conscious young teenager. I spent quite a sizeable lump of my pocket-money on Charles' Atlas's mail-order isotonic/isometric exercises, so that I wouldn't be a 70 pound weakling and have sand kicked in my face. Quite a waste of money, as the exercises were boring, and he could have told me in one sentence what to do: 'Just push every part of your body against any other part, or the floor or wall, and by exercising all your muscles you'll grow big and strong and have high self-esteem!'

I was fairly lonely as a teenager, and felt out of it often. In another post I've talked about the Outsider Syndrome.

I was a voracious reader: mostly a book a day when I was 12-15 (later years saw me doing more serious study-reading). I'd go to the Sydney City Library in the Queen Victoria Building, and borrow all the Biggles, William, and Deerfoot books they had. I'd go to secondhand bookshops and Paddy's Markets in Haymarket and buy self-help books (like Dale Carnegie's or Norman Vincent Peale's or Arnold Bennett's) and books about End-times.

(Arnold Bennett came back to the memory of this 70-year-old this morning when I read this in a 30-year-old Expository Times sermon: "A young woman, captivated by the idea of Arnold Bennett's How to Live on Twenty-four Hours a Day met the author at a reception. 'Oh, Mr Bennett,' she said eagerly, 'I'm going to concentrate.' 'That's good', replied Mr. Bennett. 'On what?' 'Oh,' was the answer, 'on lots of things!'").

Friends? A few. There was David Clines - the only other boy in our Assembly roughly my age and with my reading interests. At SBHS I was 'friends in the train' with Mal Butters, ? Indelkofer, ? Hargreaves

Girls? Of course. There was Margaret Goss (who died recently, and phoned me from her Sydney death-bed for a chat, after many long years of being out of touch), and Yvonne, Janette, and Janice Moar, and a few others I glanced at briefly. Fortunately, I was saved from any complicated romantic arrangements until I met my wife, Janice Higgs, at Bathurst Teachers' College in 1957.

7. THE 'OUTSIDER' - ALWAYS SECOND

2009-11-10T14:51:00.001-08:00

This week I was counseling a woman who began, nervously, telling me she was an outsider in her church. They did not understand where she was coming from. After gentle listening for some time she confessed that she had a confusing sexual orientation, and was probably a lesbian.

People feel 'outsiders' for all kinds of reasons. Among them, of course, is that one is 'odd'. Have you heard of Jemmy Hirst (there's a Wikipedia article about him)? He was an English eccentric who trained a hedgehog to follow him around, a bull he named Jupiter to be ridden like a horse, and pigs to chase foxes like pointer dogs. He used a coffin in his dining-room as a sideboard, and printed his own bank-notes (to the value of fivepence-halfpenny). I first heard of Jemmy Hirst in a sermon, encouraging followers of Jesus not to be afraid of being deemed to be a little odd!

I’ve felt I was an outsider about half my life since about 13 years of age. Right through high school (Sydney Boys' High) I did not really feel I belonged. On sports days (Friday afternoons, as I recall) I wasn't in the school or house rugby teams, but got a run in the 'Leftovers'. (Ironic that later, at Teachers' College, I was chosen to play for the Central West of N.S.W. against the New Zealand All Blacks, but it was then the policy of the College not to allow students to participate in representative sporting fixtures).
Now Outsiders do not treat with great respect the group they’d like to be part of, if anger or rejection compounds the sense of not belonging…

On the positive side well-read Outsiders often become 'autodidacts' and may have insights into phenomena which elude others. I hope I'm in that category: I have minority opinions on lots of things, and when I think back to some of these opinions expressed 30 years ago, just about all of them are now regarded as 'orthodox'. See an article I've written titled 'The Elephant in the Room' .

ALWAYS SECOND

Today’s lead item in several Australian TV newscasts was about an Airbus A380 flying here for the first time. Thousands lined the perimeters of airports, many standing with cameras on the roofs of cars. In The Age newspaper there’s a story about the death of Peter Drucker, guru of 20th century management theory, aged 95. And of course the latest Guinness Book of Records is in the best-seller lists (do some people – not just libraries – buy it every year?)

I grew up believing that bigger and brighter and stronger and more famous is better. It was a legacy of the books on How to Win Friends and Influence People / How to Succeed in Business etc. I devoured as a teenager. As a 15-year old I secretly wrote for the Charles Atlas ‘Dynamic Tension’ body-building program. (You needed no equipment, other than pitting your muscles against each other and/or the floor and the wall for just half an hour each day, and you too won’t have bullies kicking sand in your face).

But I never really succeeded (at least in my thinking) in being the best or the brightest. Someone always ‘pipped me at the post’. Or else (as happened in the last year of Primary School) I won the race but was disqualified ‘cos I finished in my neighbour’s lane…

Now in my 60s I’m rewriting my little bit of history, a history previously dominated more by hubris than humility. The yogic saying ‘He is a fool that cannot conceal his wisdom’ now appeals to me. So does Richard Rohr’s suggestion that holiness is only ‘attained’ with at least one humiliation each day. I’m not very holy: I recall an average of roughly one humiliation a month over the course of my life…

Back in 1949 at Mortdale Primary School, the Education Department Inspector came when I was in the sixth grade. He did an intelligence test on the class, and guess where I scored? Yep, second, after Michael Hornibrook, a very bright teacher’s kid. We both, with Malcolm Butters who was third, were chosen to go to Sydney Boys’ High School, a selective school for bright students. There I was sixth or seventh bottom of 2nd Year, and just squeaked into 3rd Year. I played sport with the Leftovers at Centennial Park, read a book a day, and was your typical teenage introvert.

At our little church David Clines always did better academically (look him up – Emeritus Professor of Biblical Literature and Languages at Sheffield University). Second again…

At Teachers’ College – I topped the boys in my year academically, but got beaten by four or five girls. If one lecturer had not downgraded a research project from an A to a C for being submitted late I’d have topped the College. I was chosen – second to Don Gray – to play Rugby Union for the NSW Central West team against the All Blacks. (Fortunately it was College policy not to permit its students engaging in representative sport… Phew!). But I was awarded the athletics’ ‘blue’…

The NSW Baptist College? Second again in many subjects to Dr. John Olley (who had a

PhD in nuclear physics, then went on to earn another one in biblical studies). But the church I was privileged to pastor during those four years – Narwee Baptist – was second-to-none. They were four good years…

Blackburn Baptist Church may have been the largest non-Catholic congregation in the country for a few months (!), but then a couple of AOG churches passed us… It’s still the largest Baptist church in Australia (and has changed its name to Crossway). Seven and a half years there taught me more about ministry and life and relationships than any other similar period before or since. While there I studied for a post-graduate theology degree – a BD with the Melbourne College of Divinity. As you can imagine some of those years were busy, and when November came and I felt I hadn’t done enough work to justify sitting an exam, I didn’t show up. So in my records they put ‘fail’ four or five times, together with some High Distinctions. Typical of my life really…

Not all of my Baptist pastorates were good. I was senior pastor for a short time at First Baptist Church, Vancouver (third largest Baptist Church in Canada), but four powerful people (average age 77.5 – true!) made it clear they did not like my style, and I resigned. That story has been an encouragement to others who've 'failed', and that experience was the worst and best of my pastoral life… The only other ‘downtown/city’ church I pastored (as part-time interim) – Central Baptist Church in Sydney in 1971-2 – finished similarly. Folks attended the meeting - where I did not score the requisite 75% vote to stay - whom most didn’t know, but who were non-attending church members.

After Vancouver, a decade with World Vision Australia as their ‘Leadership Enhancement Consultant’ (or ‘Minister at Large’) – traveling the country and the world speaking to churches and pastors’ conferences. Second? Well, I was granted a fair degree of autonomy to follow my calling, but some bureaucratic types couldn’t figure why I should not report for duty in an office each morning like they had to. Being ‘second’ to institutional people is no joy for someone like me, and so on April Fools’ Day 1991 I 'burnt my bridges behind me' and a few of us set up a little ministry which survives to this day – John Mark Ministries. These years have been some of the most fulfilling of my life.

During the World Vision days I was told that I probably spoke face to face with, and was read by, more pastors and church leaders than anyone else in Australia. So what? (to use an Australian expression). Soon a few others had higher visibility – John Smith, Gordon Moyes, and later Tim Costello and Mike Frost.

Fuller Theological Seminary: a wonderful place for study and teaching. I was privileged to be ‘second’ to Eugene Peterson, teaching a Doctor of Ministry Intensive course on Spirituality and Ministry until he was available.

We have four terrific adult children. Two of them are committed Christians, and two aren’t. According to a 1998 survey only 37% of Christians’ kids follow their parents’ habit of attending church regularly, so we’re scoring better-than-average! All our children have post-graduate degrees/ qualifications, and two of us – our son Paul and I - are PhD candidates who have ‘demitted’. I have a Doctor of Ministry degree – a ‘second’ sort of doctorate (or as they say a ‘poor pastor’s doctorate')!

Oh, that’ll do for now. The Christian ethic is about ‘preferring others to oneself’, about living agreeably with the ‘bridesmaid’ / ‘second fiddle’ tag. Isn’t John the Baptist a good model for us in this regard? And Paul, in Colossians 3:13 (Eugene Peterson, The Message), encourages us to be 'even-tempered, content with second place...'

In later posts I'll talk more about some of these episodes...

Shalom!/Salaam!

Rowland Croucher

8. UNIVERSITY AND WORK EXPERIENCE

2009-11-10T14:50:00.002-08:00

I wandered - psychologically - through two somewhat wasted years at The University of Sydney. Nothing had prepared me for the anonymity of University life. These days young people often take a 'gap year' to mature a bit before tertiary study. I had two 'gap years' - passing only one subject (geography) in first year before giving up, and applying half-way through second year to go to Bathurst Teachers' College.

Interestingly, my wife Jan was at Sydney Uni studying (and failing) science at the same time (1955) but we never met then. She went to Bathurst TC a year ahead of me... and the rest is history.

In the second year I worked at several day-time jobs, including manual labour with the Sydney Water Board digging sewer trenches (in the Narwee area - later to be my parish!), driving the lift at the Sydney harbour bridge pylon lookout, tram conductor, after-school English coaching, selling subscriptions to Hammondville - an old people's establishment - and to Time Magazine, door-to-door salesman (of books - that job fizzled), teaching at St. Andrew's Cathedral Choir School, running a local council-sponsored vacation club for kids, and a few factory jobs. All good educational experiences especially the teaching job: of course I had no idea how to control a class of teenagers, and the Principal - Canon Neuth, something of a legend in the school - sometimes used to line up the whole class at the end of my lessons and give every boy 'the cane' (on their fingers). Very humiliating!

Perhaps the most profound 'work experience' was the three months' National Service in an Infantry Corps. I spent two periods of six weeks being trained to shoot, throw grenades, carry a pack in the bush in Mt Royal, somewhere near Newcastle (and, once, sleeping exhausted in a mud-puddle) - a month and a half between Uni and Bathurst TC, and a similar period between first and second year at Bathurst. The base-location - mostly Ingleburn Army Camp in Sydney's south-west. During that time I developed some skill playing snooker, and an admiration for the army chaplains. I came across a couple of Christian guys, and sometimes we'd go into the bush to pray together. Speaking of praying: for the only time in my life I knelt beside my bed in an army barracks to pray: that puts iron in your soul (and reminders of pray-ers who have shoes thrown at them in situations like that!). Nothing untoward happened to me, and none of my army mates mentioned anything. I got into trouble only once: because we spent a lot of time sitting around, I used to carry a paperback book in my pocket. The seargent saw it and asked me to show it to him - The Dam Busters. 'So private, seeing you like water stories, you can water the gardens around your barracks for the next week! For some reason I was 'promoted' to lance-corporal for the second six-week stint: and had the privilege of carrying a lightweight weapon (forgotten its name) instead of a rifle or machine-gun.

I fell into philately before and during our Narwee years (when decimal currency was introduced to Australia, and some rare pounds/shillings/pence stamps could be bought from Post Offices for a brief time). I'd been collecting used envelopes/stamps from several city stores/offices, soaked them and put them into 'Surprise packs' for resale. I was gratified by the number of local shops who'd take a piece of cardboard with packs of stamps attached to it. And for a short time we made some nice pocket-money from this little industry!

Later part-time jobs included two stints of taxi-driving, buying and selling real estate (with no money to start with - I'll tell that story sometime), and collecting and selling (latterly on eBay) books, booklets and memorabilia by/about the only Australian religious collectible author, F W Boreham. I eventually sold my lifetime collection of Borehams to a Canadian collector for $20,000+ when we needed the money to buy a ministry-car. I'm back to collecting Borehams again if anyone has some lying around!

But then I found my ‘self’, perhaps for the first time in my life, at Bathurst Teachers' College.

9. BATHURST TEACHERS' COLLEGE

2009-11-10T14:50:00.001-08:00

I found my ‘self’, perhaps for the first time, at Bathurst Teachers' College (Student # 58000031), situated in a semi-rural area at the foot of Mount Panorama (famous for its Easter car rallies). For the first time I lived away from a city –and loved the solitude of the natural beauty of those Central Western plains – especially spectacular when filled with purple ‘Paterson’s curse’ weeds.
These were two of the happiest years of my life. Academically, I was beaten by five women, (partly because I submitted an assignment late to a lecturer who downed my grade from an 'A' to a 'C'), president of the Christian Fellowship, earned an athletics blue, and played in the first grade rugby union team.

(That's me in the photo above scoring a try in a 40-3 drubbing by the Sydney Teachers' College team, which included one or two internationals. Ken Stafford, our captain, was following me, and looking pretty pleased!).

A spiritual awakening occurred in our dormitory when many of the non-Catholic guys made some sort of commitment to Christ. One night I fell asleep 'witnessing' to one of these men, Don Gray, who became an outstanding convert. My room-mate, Barry Maxwell, committed his life to Christ, and later entered the Anglican ministry in Sydney. Another special friend, who was a Christian before he came to College, was Alan Watson. His humility and prayer-life were an inspiration to us all. The 'C.F.' boomed, and they were heady days. Especially memorable were the prayer meetings at the cowshed, when up to 50 people would sing songs and pray together. They were two wonderful years, and the 'clincher' was meeting my future wife, Janice Higgs, there. More of that later.

Update (October 2009): Last weekend Jan and I attended the 50th anniversary of our BTC days. As we drove up the hill out of town towards the College (now Sturt University) we relived the occasion when we first held hands, walking home from church (Bathurst Baptist). Jan reminded me she had gloves on (back then women wore hat and gloves to church) and it ‘felt strange’… We were so innocent!

On the Sunday morning of the Reunion we enjoyed a service of remembrance, organized by Bruce Morey, the CF president who followed me. We named those who’d passed away: vale Frank Goodwin, Don Gray, Fred Waqa (we heard he was killed in a motor-bike accident in his home-country Nauru), Beverly O’Connor (electrocuted in PNG while serving as a missionary), Anne Wescott – a beautiful Christian girl from a well-known Methodist family, who in her twenties suffered severe post-natal depression and committed suicide. [Who else, anyone?] Neville Hatton, an accomplished musician played the keyboard for our hymns. We reminisced as a few spoke of the importance of those two years in terms of their Christian faith. Then I led a short devotion: reminding us that just as, 50 years ago, those two years were a preparation-time for a vocation of teaching or other work, so our whole lives are a preparation for an eternal vocation.

It was interesting to hear the stories: one colleague was a Christian in college, but, he said, left the place an agnostic: but in mid-life experienced a mystical ‘epiphany’ which renewed his faith in God. Others unfortunately were strong Christians then, but fell by the wayside later. One outstanding man, who later earned a PhD and occupies several important positions in the church, was not a Christian at College, but came to faith later… Bruce Morey is still his authentic evangelical gentle self, and continues reading significant theological authors (like, these days, Bishop N T Wright). Sally Audet recently lost her husband, but I hear she is coping well. Mike Wood sent a memo to one of the Alumni newsletters telling us he’d had a serious brain injury of some sort and had to retire from teaching.

I think of many people from those two years: I wonder what’s happened to Peter Jones, Peter O’Connor, Ken McConville, Janet Roberts, Julia Browett (who was married for a time to Ken Stafford), Colin Bass? In Jan’s year (1956-57) I remember Grace Flint, Fred Cook, George Windsor, Jim Irvine, Meredith Johnson. Each November (on the Tuesday after Melbourne Cup-day) some from our cohort meet for lunch at the RSL club in Epping, Sydney. I’ve flown up twice, and enjoyed catching up with Scott Chadwick, Peter Foss, Frank Hiob (my room-mate with Barry for the first year until he left to study at the ASOPA college in Mosman for a career in Papua New Guinea), Margaret Adams (as I knew her – secretary of the CF and still a committed evangelical Christian, married to a Uniting Church minister), Peter and Elizabeth Smart (Peter was the CF president the year before ours, and set – for me - a wonderful example of godly thoroughness: he also became an Anglican clergyman)… and others who’ll come to mind. Can’t get there this year, but may try on future occasions…

I read through an inch-thick folder of memorabilia from those times, and before I consign most of it to the recycling bin, here’s a miscellany of memories (which may only interest anyone from that cohort who’s read this far):

* We were fundamentalists back then. Here’s a question from an October 1958 ‘roneoed’ sheet, prepared for private study: ‘Are YOU a Christian, and ABSOLUTELY SURE about it? Make a list of all the reasons for and against a decision for Christ.’ Wow! But this direct approach apparently worked: I heard a couple of stories recently of people who came to faith – especially at the Mt Victoria camps.

* Books I read and enjoyed at Bathurst: Richard Llewellyn's How Green Was My Valley, Roy Hession's The Calvary Road, John Stott's Basic Christianity, C S Lewis' Mere Christianity.

* I broke the inter-collegiate athletics record for the long jump early 1957 (22 feet something), but hadn’t remembered breaking BTC’s hop step and jump record the previous year (‘43ft 10 ½ in. Previous record 43ft 7 ½ in.) – but that has to be put into context: the College had only been in existence for half a dozen years before then! I also came second in the 440 yards sprint, long jump, and high jump. I forget what happened the following year athletics-wise, except for winning the 440 yards and earning the College’s athletics blue.

* L.J.Allen BA BEc was the principal – I think since the College’s commencement. I note he used to chair the AGM’s of the Christian Fellowship. (On a later visit to the College I chatted to him about the CF and he remembered it thriving in our time). Re academic qualifications: I note that only two or three of the lecturing staff had Masters’ degrees: none had a doctorate. However, several from our cohort went on to earn doctorates – Laurie LeClaire, Alan Watson, Peter O’Connor [anyone else?]. I have in front of me a letter L J Allen wrote to me (c/- 19 Louisa St. Oatley): ‘Dear Rowland, I wish to let you know that I have recommended to the Acting Director-General that, should you be posted to a school convenient to a University, you might be considered for the issue of a Warrant to undertake a University Course.’ Well, I did – I eventually completed an arts degree externally from the University of New England.

* Back to the College Staff: I don’t remember any meaningful conversations with any of them, except one with Archie Millar. Same with the lecturers at the Baptist Theological College 6-9 years later… Now I wonder why? I’ve not usually been someone who seeks out authority-figures to talk with them – a confidence thing perhaps. That changed later in life: I’ve been privileged to enjoy many meaningful conversations with high-profile people: you’ll read about some of them on other blogs – or in later chapters here.

* I’ve just re-read, probably for only the second time ever, four page-long ‘Practice Teaching’ reports. They had hardly any critical comments: one was positive but wondered if I relied too much on what we might now call ‘winging it’. I got an A+ for practice teaching – and words/phrases like ‘confidence’, ‘pupil response excellent’ etc. reoccur in them. Others of my colleagues probably didn’t find those experiences easy: and I’m thankful for the Brethren upbringing’s opportunities to speak in public since the age of 13!

* Arch Millar composed the ‘College Anthem’ while I was there: I used to think singing it was school-boy-ish (‘And when others gather here/ In our age and in their youth/ May we all with gratitude / find her youthful, honoured, strong’).

* I note that one of our lecturers, Theo Barker, has written a history of the ‘Mitchell College of Advanced Education’ (as BTC came to be known): I must get hold of a copy.

I gave a little homily at the 50th reunion, and have just come across the notes. I mentioned some of the 'notables' in the Christian Fellowship (Margaret Adams secretary, Alan Watson Vice-President. I recalled singing a solo part in Iolanthe (Lord Mountararat - first and last time I ever did that). I expressed my consternation that some Christians who were not Brethren I sensed were actually 'closer to God' than my childhood friends. We sang again a hymn which was a CF favourite: 'Thine Be the Glory'. I'd learned to pray aloud for the first time. Conclusion: 'They were two years of preparation for a lifetime's vocation of teaching and/or other pursuits. And our last 50 years is preparation for an eternal vocation - glorious, beyond words to describe. I for one am looking forward to that!'

Memories, memories… If anyone from my cohort is reading this and wants to comment or reminisce, feel free!

10. TEACHING... AND THREE INTERESTING CHURCHES...

2009-11-10T14:49:00.003-08:00

I went teaching, frankly, not only to earn a living, but to gain skills which might be useful in pastoring or possibly theological lecturing later. I always knew it would be an interim vocation: teaching theology (or a subset like practical theology or apologetics) would be my main life's work. I'd known that since the age of about 16.

I taught at St. Andrew's Cathedral Choir School in Sydney for a term, while at Sydney University... more about that here.

After two years at Bathurst Teachers' College I was appointed to Captain's Flat Central School (k-10)

- 1959-61 - teaching just about everything (except science, domestic science, woodwork/metalwork) to 12-15 year-olds.

As any teacher will attest, first year out is challenging: how does one exert authority over teenagers whose hormones are mucking up? In the holiday-period between my first and second year I gave a lot of thought to this (in addition to thoughts associated with getting married to Jan!!!). The next four years were - professionally - a 'breeze'!

Then two years (1962-3) at Jannali Boys' High School (Sydney) - where I taught Geography, History and English.
While there I helped to start up an Interschool Christian Fellowship (ISCF) group. One of the co-leaders was Paul de Plater, who later became a Baptist pastor - and ministered for a short time at Narwee Baptist a few years after we left. He was a good man, given to depression, and later committed suicide. I remember having dinner with him at a restaurant in Cronulla, when his estranged son walked in. It was very moving. The other co-leader I have just met again at a UNOH conference (July 2008): David Chambers, who has had a lifetime of ministry in Christian education and serving the poor. He and his wife Margaret live at Coburg in Melbourne these days.

After Jannali I entered the NSW Baptist Theological College, and began a student pastorate at Narwee Baptist Church.

*****

Churches in these five years:

1. Captain's Flat Presbyterian Church. 80+ year old Rev. Robertson drove in all weathers from Braidwood (I think twice a month) to preach at the services - an inspiring example of ministerial longevity.

2. St. Thomas' Kingsgrove (1962). The memory of the evening vesper comes to mind regularly: Lead me Lord, lead me in thy righteousness, make my way plain before my face. For it is Thou, Lord, Thou Lord only, that makest me dwell in safety'.

3. Mortdale Baptist Church. Rev. Colin Campbell was in inspiration in other ways - especially the value of 'home visiting' members of his congregation, and administration. (This was the largest Baptist church in NSW at the time, and he had only one other pastoral staff-member - Deaconess Elaine McCormack).

Here I've written an article about the teaching ministry of the church...

11. MANHOOD

2009-11-10T14:49:00.001-08:00

One of the books I wish I'd written is Steve Biddulph's Manhood. Now Steve is more liberal than I about pornography and masturbation and a few other things but essentially he's on to something very important. Indeed in the seminars I lead on manhood I make this global statement:

'Most of the problems in the Western world can be traced to our inability to create men from boys.'

Every pre-industrial society has initiation rites for precipitating boys aged 14 or 15 into manhood. We in the West have something called adolescence which inhibits/complicates this process. So what should we do? Men should take boys away and talk about being men - the challenges and the problems of manhood - do things together, enjoy recreational activities together, talk about Big Ideas with boys.

If we don't properly create a rite of passage for boys, they'll find destructive counterfeits - hence initiation ceremonies in the armed forces, teenage boys getting on to drugs and breaking into houses etc. The Kiwi movie 'Once Were Warriors' is the best I've ever seen on the destructive aspects of the breakdown of Western families.

Most men don't have real friends. They don't know how to grieve with other men. So they 'burnout' and have mid-life crises. Their emotional output is not matched by emotional input. And they've never properly dealt with their family-of-origin stuff.

Probably most of us males need a 'mid-life crisis' to wake up to ourselves. Mine was in Korea in 1977/8 (?) when I spent a night in tears in a chapel in the Full Gospel Central Church repenting of my sinfulness, selfishness, failures in ministry and parenting etc.

For more on this important topic visit these articles on men and fathering.

12. MARRIAGE

2009-11-10T14:48:00.002-08:00

My best friend? My wife. One who really cares about me. Who asks how my day was and really wants to know...

Jan and I are different. She tells the story of some time early in our marriage when she asked if I'd help with something or other. I said 'no'. I have some urgent study to do. I'd put sermon preparation or a writing assignment far ahead of fixing something around the house, or realigning physical objects in another configuration. With Jan, my hunch is that if on the Wednesday before the Sunday she's due to preach she can think of a reason to make pumpkin soup instead of reading a commentary on Hosea, she'll head for the kitchen.

I remember Barry Jones, Australia's highest-profile 'public' intellectual being asked 'What do you hate doing?' His response: 'Nothing, except moving physical objects - including myself - around the earth!' I can resonate with that.

MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT

A few times Jan and I have led Marriage Enrichment seminars. From the feedback, they're always appreciated.

Here's the letter I've read to her in front of those people:

A Love-letter to my Spouse

My Darling Jan,

I am continually grateful that you're my wife. What a privileged man I am. We've had 39 and a half (now, as I write in 2010, *51*) years of happiness: in fact as we said to each other the other night, we've spent two-thirds of our lives together! You are the mother of our four wonderful children - and you've been a wonderful mum. Our love for each other has grown over the years; from romantic love to a mix of romantic and realistic love.

I thank God for

* Our courtship: they were a wonderful couple of years

* The fact that we were both virgins when we married

* Your willingness to go through the physical pain of giving birth to our four children, and your willingness to be sometimes father and mother to them, especially when they were little

* Your giving up your job for us to move to Canada

* The unexpected gifts you have given me - like the pocket watch a couple of weeks ago

* The fact that we can both get irritable - you with the computer, me with slow people

* Our holidays, where we walk together or sit and read in some of the most beautiful parts of the world

* The ease with which we can make decisions about our life together and our family

* Our new flat: we have never enjoyed living anywhere as much as we enjoy living here

* The enjoyment of lying in each others' arms and talking together - and of course

* Our sexual life: it's getting better with each passing year!

I love and admire you for...

* Your desire to do God's will

* Your honesty and integrity: you are more willing than I am to admit a mistake

* Your commitment to our family - our children and our grandchildren

* The way you have overcome being the victim of an abusive and angry father. I love the way you have tried to separate me from your father - particularly when I come on strong or am overbearing…

* Your care of me - meals, clothes: you are a wonderful home-maker

* Studying and equipping yourself for Christian ministry: doing two degrees in midlife is a great achievement

…and there are lots of other things

Please forgive me for...

* Having too great a commitment to ministry outside our home, which I now see was at the expense of our family - particularly in the case of our eldest two children

* Not helping more with the children when they were little - especially when they cried in the night.

* The times I was angry with you, and hurt you deeply, and for not expressing my displeasure more gently - and for not understanding better, particularly early in our marriage, what having an angry father was like for you

* Not helping more in the home

* Putting you down when I thought you should have known something

* Not being more patient when fixing computer problems - expecting you to remember ten complex things in one bang!

I pledge/promise before God that

* I will try to listen to your heart, your feelings

* I will try to be more domesticated

My prayer for you - and for us - is...

* That we shall find our significance in God, rather than in our training or accomplishments or anything else that humans prize

* That in the last few years of our pastoral ministries we will grow together in our knowledge of and love for God and in reaching out to others effectively

* That your beautiful desire to please others and be their servant will not diminish, but will also be tempered by a willingness to be served sometimes… that you will be more free to ask me to serve you

* That in our semi-retirement which is coming up we shall have a ministry together of encouragement to others - perhaps a ministry to pastors and leaders

I love you!

Rowland

13. CHILDREN & GRANDCHILDREN

2009-11-10T14:48:00.001-08:00

We have four wonderful children – Paul, late-40s, Karen, 15 months younger, then after a ten year gap we got the machinery going again and two more girls joined our family – Amanda, now late mid-thirties, and Lindy, a year and a half younger.

Before my mid-life crisis (in Canada), I was a typical male workaholic, who aimed for excellence at my job/calling, and left too much of the parenting to the children’s mother. Our two eldest are still suffering the effects of all that (and they’re not in the church). The youngest two are very close and devoted to us, and to the Lord. Why? Simple, really: I bonded with them in their pre-teen and teenage years. In the year in Canada when Jan was out working and I was home studying, I’d go down the hill to meet Amanda and Lindy after school. The walk home was precious: I would hear all about their day. When Jan arrived home and asked about school etc. of course they’d told their story and just said ‘O.K.’ I remember commenting many times to Jan that she got to hear the eldest kids’ debriefings and I didn’t back then, and I – and they – missed out on so much!

Paul is quite an outstanding poet. Here's one of his offerings to an Internet poetry group (on which he has posted about 150 poems of the 600 he has written):

By Queen's Park Lake

Posted by Paul on July 10, 2001

a cygnet waddles up to
Jay, aged two, who
almost pats its
blur
of a furry-grey
bobbing head;
as I stand
an exclamation,
and its mother
a question mark

at just
the distances
required of us

by perfect grammar.

~~~

More of Paul's poetry...

~~~

One of the highlights for me as a parent was to participate a few years back in the 90th birthday celebrations for my mother in Sydney. Our three daughters drove to Sydney for the occasion (first time they'd ever been locked up in a car for two nine-hour stretches!). Karen and Amanda and I drove together to pick up 'Ma' as she was called from her retirement village in Cherrybrook, and it was lovely just relaxing with them as we drove through the suburbs of Sydney...

~~~

Karen has several strings to her professional bow: editing, marketing, a good knowledge of medicine, and lately, superannuation. She and Ross have produced two wonderful daughters - Abbie, who has an honours Arts degree, and Coralie, who has a degree - and a job - in landscape architecture.

Amanda is a trained teacher of English as a second language, and a counselor (for some years with a Christian school, counselling trouble teenagers). She is currently working with a Catholic preparation-for-marriage organization as a facilitator. She and John live downstairs in our home, and their two little girls are a daily delight!

Lindy is a leader in the missional organization working among the urban poor in a couple of Melbourne suburbs - Urban Neighbours of Hope. A proportion of my seminar, preaching and counselling donations go towards that organization's wonderful ministry. Here's a promo for one of their Surrender Conferences:

Update 2010: Lindy is now with an inner-city Melbourne ministry - Urban Seed.

One of my most cherished parental dreams is to be able to get as close to Karen and Paul as I am to Amanda and Lindy.

GRANDCHILDREN

Ever wondered what happens in a teenage boys' dressingroom after a win in a football match? (Our grandson Jay is dark-haired, without a top, and is leading the chant):

Shalom!/Salaam!

Rowland Croucher

14. NARWEE BAPTIST CHURCH

2009-11-10T14:47:00.004-08:00

This morning's email text-for-today: Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Isaiah 5:20-23

A good warning before I start this section. I had been teaching for four years and had known since youth that teaching was to equip me for pastoral ministry. We were attending St. Thomas'Anglican Church, Kingsgrove, where Rev. Dudley Foord was the pastor. It was terrific: good Bible teaching, effective evangelism, a healthy church. But I was convinced I could not become an Anglican. On a memorable day our two families went to the beach at Cronulla, where Dudley invited me to be the church's youth leader, and I told him I was entering the Baptist ministry! The Baptists, for some reason (!) wanted me to join a Baptist church in preparation for entering their Theological College, so we went to the nearest one - at Mortdale. It was the largest Baptist Church in NSW at that time, mostly due, I believe, to the effective administrative and pastoral gifts of the senior pastor, Rev. Colin Campbell.

So two good - and contrasting - churches provided complementary models for me as I entered College. I was 'part-time' (note the 'quotes') pastor at Narwee Baptist Church, which began to take off. We added a full-time youth pastor and his wife (Dave and Mary Kendall), then the following year a part-time deaconess.

These were four hectic years: two young children, driving taxis Friday nights to help pay the bills, preaching twice most Sundays, giving a mid-week Bible study, speaking at lots of youth rallies here and there, running summer camps and beach missions, Crazy - but stretching!

Now I was a very confident young man: leading a Christian Fellowship at Teachers' College and then a suburban church in Sydney came easily to me. My Brethren upbringing taught me to encourage laypeople to study the Bible for themselves. Dudley Foord modeled enthusiastic evangelical pastoral leadership. And the Narwee folk were very flexible. That church grew in spite of there being nine other Baptist churches within a five-mile radius, and the suburb being built-out. It was the youngest Baptist church in the district, and it's a credit to the more senior folk there that my somewhat naive enthusiasm was tolerated at all.

Their weekly program: Sunday - 9.30 Sunday School, 11 Morning Worship, 3 Christian Endeavour, 6.45 Pre-service prayer meeting, 7 Evening Service. Communion - 1st Sunday morning and 3rd Sunday evening. Monday - 8 Men's Recreation Club. Tuesday - 7.15 Girls' Life Brigade. Wednesday - 11 Ladies' Fellowship (alternate weeks). 8 - Prayer and Bible Study. Thursday - 6.45 Life Boys. Friday - 7.30 Boys' Brigade. Saturday - 10 Girl Cadets. Quite busy!

John Maitland, a Baptist historian, prepared a history of NBC for its 50th anniversary (May 2004). Jan and I were there: a wonderful experience. He sent this questionnaire about our time at Narwee:

1.How did you come to be appointed to NBC?

The Baptist 'Home Work Council' put my name to the church, as I recall. And I think Rev. Colin Campbell had a hand in it somewhere (as he did with Mike Dennis' appointment). And as I was living locally, had been accepted as a candidate for ministry with the college, they had to find a church for me somewhere.

It all fitted!

2.Did you have a philosophy/plan in mind for the Church when you arrived?

As I was a teacher before this, I guess my aim was to 'grow people in Christ through Bible teaching'. I'm also, I think, something of an evangelist, and wanted the church to reach out to the community, and see people come to faith in Christ. I seem to have a gift of encouragement.

Reading old sermon-notes from NBC days is interesting (I knew more about some things then than I know now). I found myself often asking 'What's God doing in your life?' I've always had a horror of myself or others 'standing still' in their spiritual life.

3.Did you have any expectations of the Church?

Yes, that we might 'grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ' and grow numerically.

4.Was this your first Church?

In a sense, yes. I was president of the Christian Fellowship at Bathurst Teachers' College and that was good training in leadership of a 'quasi-church' (all we were missing in that group was sacraments!). And it was my first experience of being in leadership in a Baptist Church. I'd never attended a deacons' meeting, never baptized anyone, nor conducted a wedding before arriving at NBC (talk about 'steep learning curve'!)

5.As your ministry at NBC developed did you develop priorities for ministry there?

Confession-time: the church was so responsive, and some of the lectures at the Baptist College which I attended (or was supposed to attend) four days a week so dull, I devoted quite a bit of energy pastoring, visiting, preparing three sermons or Bible studies most weeks at the beginning - as well as sitting for, I think, 13 or 14 exams at the end of each of the first two years. (Crazy!). Oh... and leading beach missions on holidays, driving a taxi one night a week to help with family finances, playing sport regularly, lecturing at both the Baptist College and the Sydney Missionary and Bible College... And did I mention being married and fathering two gorgeous children? Back to ministry: personal/pastoral priorities were to encourage people to grow in their faith. In terms of the church, besides the usual pursuits of study, prayer and service, we developed an emphasis on 'overseas missions'...

6.How did Dave Kendall's appointment come about? Also Barbara Wadson's appointment as Deaconess?

Dave was part of a 'Youth Crusade' in our church from 'Ambassadors for Christ' and in conversation I got the impression he was open to a call to youth ministry in a local church. The church had no spare money: when they called me they had to increase the stipend to support a part-time married pastor, and also purchase a manse (in Bonds Road). So one memorable night, after Jan and I committed ourselves to raising our tithe to a fifth of our small income, I divided the congregation into four segments, and got on the phone. (The four groups: those with money and teenagers; those with teenagers but not a significant income; those with money and no kids; and finally the young people themselves). By the end of the night we had pledges, for just one year, sufficient to cover a married full-time pastor's stipend, plus renting a house and purchasing a car. This method of 'financing by faith' we used again at Blackburn Baptist Church to call Robert Colman. The rationale for all this can be found in my book, Your Church Can Come Alive. Dave and Mary were with us for two and a half happy years - a time in which many young people came to faith in Christ, and quite a few left for Bible College training and missionary work. (Remember John Stewart, who went on to a significant ministry with Gospel Recordings?) The Youth Choir under Dave's leadership was also quite a feature in those days! (Remember Dave singing 'Roll Jordan Roll'?)

Barbara Wadson was added as a third staff member (part-time) in, I think, the last two years of our ministry at Narwee. The church had grown beyond one pastor's ability to handle all the pastoral needs, and her visitation ministry, especially to women, was very fruitful.

7.How did you work together as a team? Were there any informal or formal guidelines?

I think we could have had more 'team enrichment' times together: life was so busy back then. But we got on well. Team members knew their gifts and their roles, and were given quite a bit of freedom to operate within broad guidelines.

8.In retrospect, what are the things that stand out

* for the NBC?

The growth of the church, through many conversions, and some transfers; the remarkable commitment to missionary giving (someone calculated that it rose 2000% in those four years); and above all the spirit of unity that pervaded the church. I can't remember a cranky person or a 'hidden agenda'from anywhere in those four years. Remarkable!

* for you?

I remember Joyce Emerson saying early in my time at NBC: 'Why don't we have a hymn, a prayer, and the offering, and you preach for the rest of the time?' I'd never heard that approach to a 'theology of worship' before, and it astounded me that anyone would want to listen to me for double the length of a normal sermon! But the encouragement from the church in terms of preaching/teaching, visiting/counseling, and leadership generally was a wonderful platform for confidence-in-ministry... (Joyce also guided me through the order of service for my first wedding: I still have her notes somewhere, like - 'tell the bride to hand her bouquet to the bridesmaid at this point'!!!)

I recall (with some humility) the deference paid to this young (25-year-old) pastor. Many called me 'pastor' rather than 'Rowland' and acknowledged my leadership in ways that still astonish me, given my inexperience in matters 'Baptist' or 'pastoral'. There are several pastoral highlights - like the man who phoned me at 2 am to tell me with horror that Satan had come into his bedroom; or the confessions of people who trusted me with their deepest secrets, or their marriage/sexual problems, or their wrestling with faith and doubt, or Col Emerson's battle with 'black depression'. Or ministering at the bedside of people who were very ill (like Shirley Date)...

9. It would also be helpful to have Jan's perspective

Jan: When I arrived Gwen Thompson said 'Of course you'll be the president of the Baptist Women's Fellowship!' I responded (feeling quite fearful): 'I've never been to a BWF meeting: why don't you carry on with the job and we'll look at it in a year's time?' Which she did very graciously (and competently) while this 'raw' pastor's wife learnt as much as she could.

Then I did the job for a couple of years, until I went back teaching in our fourth year. I remember some of the picnics we had, where we followed instructions to find the destination, answering questions along the way. We started a senior ladies' fellowship, which did craft and other activities, and reached out to several older women who joined the church. I was in the choir (led by Graeme Baillie), which was great: but the congregational singing at Narwee was always hearty. I led Girls' Brigade as captain for a couple of years. I taught RE in local schools one morning a week while Nancy Lawson minded our two small children. We also had quite a few people-without-accommodation stay in our home for short or long periods (two who come to mind were Marjorie Bee and Helen Sharman). When we moved into 70 Bonds Road I felt we were moving into a palace: it was a beautiful home. I remember parking the VW under a window in the weatherboard church while our two children were asleep outside: something no one would do these days! The overall impressions were of 'busyness' and 'happiness'.

10. Anything else that comes to mind as you trawl your memories of NBC Rowland?

One night in November the first year we were there we had a baptismal service. At the end I gave an 'invitation' to those who were 'deciding to follow Jesus' to come to the front of the sanctuary. I don't know how many crowded down there - 11? 15? - but it was the first time I'd ever experienced a response like that. It was wonderful! (And as most of them were young people, that made it easy to convince the church to call a youth pastor).

The Missionary Conventions, organized by a committee headed up by Albert Stacey, opened our eyes to the needs of the world. Stewart Dinnen from WEC spoke at one of them: a weekend which gave Marjorie Bee (I've forgotten her maiden name!) a sense of call to go study at the WEC college in Launceston, where she met Graham - and the rest, as they say, is history!

I recall with joy working with those at the heart of the fellowship - deacons and their families - the Emersons, Thompsons, Jeffreys, Baillies and other faithful people. Monty Mitchell and his family joined us halfway through my time at NBC: Monty loved visiting people in their homes, and he called on hundreds of folk (especially those connected in some way with Boys' Brigade). Many other good, faithful people joined us - like the Jamiesons (from PNG), the Taylors...

And some of the 'characters' -

* Noel Freeman, an older single man who was a volunteer with Campaigners for Christ, and served very faithfully as a deacon;

* A gentleman who came from I-don't-know-where who was a 'fruitarian' (he only ate fruit) and did tree-lopping for a job. (He'd climb to the top of the highest tree on church picnics, to everyone's horror and astonishment).

* A lady (I've forgotten her name) who lived in a half-finished house. She wasn't well physically, and we organized the church to mow her lawn (which was two feet high at the beginning!)

Finally, after four happy years it was a joy (and a relief) to hand over to Mike Dennis, hopefully without too many 'skeletons in the cupboard'. The church was ready for a full-time pastor, and a building program, and an expansion of its ministries, and Mike and Meg, who are dear friends to this day, were the ideal couple for the job!

P.S. The brilliant Ship of Fools people had a mystery worshipper visit Narwee Baptist Church.

Their photos: (the building extensions began after we left) -

Ad maiorem Dei gloriam! (For the greater glory of God!)

Rowland and Jan Croucher

15. PREACHING

2009-11-10T14:47:00.003-08:00

I've written elsewhere about what I think preaching is all about, so here I'll limit myself to some anecdotal material. (More to come)

16. THEOLOGICAL COLLEGE

2009-11-10T14:47:00.001-08:00

As already mentioned I've known since teenage years that I was destined for some sort of preaching/pastoral ministry. Teaching was the best preparation I knew in terms of broad academic training, and experience in communication and crowd control (!). So after five years of teaching in two NSW secondary schools I applied for the Baptist ministry.

The selection procedures were interesting. I was to read Henry Cook's What Baptists Stand For (quite illuminating), write out my doctrinal beliefs and the books I had read (by then it was about 1000 so I had to be selective), preach on the text 'Behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world' to about ten serious people sitting around a table, and answer their questions. Sixteen of us applied that year (1963); I was one of four selected (the others were all my seniors by many years).

The College was going through some turmoil, with the Principal in the gun with some in the Baptist Union (R E Walker, prothonotary of the Supreme Court, F J Church are two who come to mind) for being ecumenical. (Strange that, as Dr. Roberts-Thompson had already written a book on the subject which apparently none of the nominating people had read). He left after the first term I was there, and ex-Principal George Morling - an amazing man, and something of a saint, but a little doddery - came in for a term or two to teach theology.

I was in College primarily to become credentialled. Although I loved study - particularly theology and Bible - I was impatient with the mediocrity of the teaching staff's abilities at the College, so I was choosy about which lectures I turned up for. I actually passed some of those exams without studying for them, and topped the College in theology in my first year, got all sorts of prizes for this and that but put most of my time into the church (a student pastorate at Narwee Baptist). I had an idea God was calling me to specialized youth, or student, or teaching ministries and I should put most of my efforts into church-building, as it could be the first and last church I would ever pastor. I could catch up on theology later. Lecturers who read from their notes, who could not answer questions outside the written material in front of them (only one of them had a doctorate) did not inspire me to drive for 45 minutes in peak hour across Sydney! Exceptions were Dr. J A Thompson ('JAT') in Old Testament, and later two younger staff recruited from pastoring - Vic Eldridge (Old Testament) and Ron Rogers (New Testament and Greek). Except for Dr. Thompson none of the others had published much...

Just this morning I read in an old Expository Times (June 1975) journal - a monthly magazine for pastors/theologians - a review of JAT's IVP commentary on Deuteronomy. Brief excerpt: 'Well informed, but not always well argued. ... The author's own preference for tracing the core of the work back to Moses is supported by no arguments of any substance...'

So JAT was a 'published conservative' - but was sometimes more progressive in his lectures. Occasionally he would complain about something he'd said in class being misquoted by a student-pastor in a sermon. An indignant elder would contact the College to verify the particular heresy. (I'm glad in retrospect that the few opportunities I've had to apply for a position in a theological seminary didn't come to anything!)

Together with pastoring the church, these were busy years! In the first two years at College I added an LTh and Dip.RE to the College exams (total: 12-14 three-hour exams in each of those two years!). I also taught at both the Baptist College (sneaky that: if I taught Greek I had to be there, right?) and the Sydney Missionary and Bible College (English, Gospels),

Back to the confidence-thing... Somewhere in my past I was injected with pedagogical serum: I am an inveterate putter-of-things-right, which invariably gets me into trouble with those committed to the status quo. If the Baptist Denomination in NSW and its College were victims of their addiction to mediocrity I had to fix that, eh? I wrote letters to the national Baptist paper asking why there were a dozen Anglican churches in Sydney with more than 100 young people in Bible study groups - but not one Baptist church. I challenged the Baptists' prevailing fundamentalism: why have a doctrine of inerrancy for the Bible if the Bible doesn't for itself? Etc. Etc. Now you can guess the response. Who's this young upstart who thinks he can fix everything, and is so arrogant he doesn't attend half the lectures at the College he's supposed to? So I developed a reputation as a stirrer... Didn't really bother me (mostly) as I had regular encouraging feedback from like-minded people and many who were influenced by all this provocation to repent and grow and change...

But, to their credit, the staff were gracious (though I heard secondhand - and to this day still - about their mutterings). They even awarded me the once-in-four-year 'Sister Sanders Scholarship' to buy books. Since I was always buying books anyway, I spent it on a hi-fi music system!

Some thoughts/jottings about theological colleges:

* In matters spiritual, we are all, in some sense, children posing as philosophers, or theologians.

* I audited some lectures in a theological college as recently as two decades ago, where the professor read from his notes, and there was no invitation to ask questions!

* The first pastors' conference I was invited to address was to the Victorian and Tasmanian Churches of Christ ministers, sometime in the 1970s. There I asked a question I replicated in many subsequent conferences: 'What two problems would you say you have most trouble with?' Response: management of people, and of time. Next question: how many seminary modules did you have on these two important areas? Answer: none. One pastor said: 'I was under the obviously mistaken impression my theological college was preparing me for ministry. It wasn't. They were simply filling our heads with theology, Bible, biblical languages, and history.' Fortunately all that has been changing since then.

~~~~~

After College I was invited to become a student Staffworker with the Intervarsity Fellowship (now the Australian Fellowship of Evangelical Students). It is to the denomination's credit that although I was 'bonded' to serve them for, I think, another three years, they released me, and so far as I know I was one of the few (any?) to be 'ordained' (strange term) to an interdenominational ministry immediately upon graduation. The three following years were heady, inspirational, and evangelistically effective as I traveled the country speaking on tertiary campuses. More of that later.

17. INTERVARSITY FELLOWSHIP

2009-11-10T14:46:00.003-08:00

As I wrote in the last chapter I was 'ordained' (I'll explain the quotes somewhere else) to a ministry with students after I left theological college. The Intervarsity Fellowship (now the Australian Fellowship of Evangelical Students) had Christian groups on most of Australia's tertiary campuses, and I wandered around encouraging those groups - 'training tomorrow's leaders for Christ' as we used to put it.

The AFES these days is more theologically conservative than the IVF I worked with. I told them I could not put my name to a bit in their doctrinal basis about the inerrancy of the Bible (how can I believe something about the Bible which the Scriptures don't assert for themselves?) but as I could affirm the 'authority' of the Bible, and as I was known as something of an evangelist since Bathurst Teachers' College days, they seemed happy to have me on board.

Ian Burnard was my boss, and an excellent one (ie. he allowed me maximum freedom to pursue the particular ministry I felt called to!). I traveled all over Australia, conducting seminars, missions, and did a lot of counseling in universities, teachers' colleges, and other tertiary institutions. They were heady days in terms of preaching in many churches, speaking at youth rallies and camps etc.

I wrote a letter to friends explaining my calling to serve the future teachers of our land (my first two years were spent mainly in Teachers' Colleges; the third as Staffworker for Sydney's Universities and Colleges. Here's the text of the letter:

~~~

"Who'd be a school-teacher? I just wouldn't have the patience!" "I'd probably throttle a disobedient kid, and get into trouble with the parents..." "The way we used to play up on our teachers... no I don't want to be one".

It's true that the lot of some teachers is not a happy one. Some are not of the right emotional temperament to withstand the pressures of this profession.

And yet I still believe that the most wonderful and productive profession in the world is that of teaching.

I will always be a teacher - I couldn't be anything else now. I probably won't teach English and History any more. Probably the future might see me teaching theology, or New Testament... That's in God's hands.

This year I've begun to teach teachers. My job takes me to the campuses of Teachers' Colleges around Australia. So far as I know I'm the first person ever to work as a full-time Christian counsellor among TC students in Australia. My parish is 30,000 strong, in 40 Colleges.

My role: minister, enthuser, Bible study leader, evangelist, asker of questions, 'prodder' if Christians are not witnessing adequately in their College mission-field, an 'encourager' if they are. I try to help the Christian Fellowships (CFs) which exist in all the Colleges, to learn God's will - in Bible study and prayer, in loving each other, in talking to non-Christians about Christ, and generally to help Christian leaders lead.

Why did I accept this job with alacrity? Because thesed youn people are going to determine what Australians will be like in the next generation. They will mould the lives of people who will guide the destiny of the world. They have an authority and power that is awesome.

You see, man is no simply the creature at the top of the evolutionary scale. Although he is different from the animals in that he has a lengthened infancy, the difference involves far more. Man has an immortal soul, the animals haven't. Man has a teachable spirit, a capacity to love God and unlovely people, an innate quest for nobility and the "good life". But a man or woman is made or marred in childhood. By the age of three, 50% of all the attitudes a person will imbibe have already taken firm root. By the age of 15, the twig is firmly bent into an almost full-grown tree. And for the next 50 years, the life lived will be an "out-living" of what is learned in that first decade and a half.

So you see, the teacher is a V.I.P.

Wise old Socrates used to say that if he could get to the highest point in Athens, he would lift up his voice and proclaim "What mean ye, fellow-citizens, that scrape every stone to get wealth together and take so little care of your children to whom ye must some day relinquish all?"

That the child-life is important is very evident as we turn to the Scriptures. Jesus himself was a child. He might have 'become flesh and dwelt among us' as a mature adult, but God saw fit to put him through the long preparatory stages of childhood before the comparatively brief period of his public ministry. Christ put a child into the centre of the group, rebuking the disciples when they argued that adults had prior claim to His time. His last charge to Peter: 'Feed my lambs.'

Jesus knew that the child's mind is plastic: 'wax to receive and granite to retain' as someone has put it.

A university professor gave up his work among adults to teach boys. When asked for his reason he said: 'If you were to write your name on brick so that it would remain, would you write it before or after it was baked?'

Jesus died for all the children, all the children of the world. Most adult Christians were converted to Christ when children or early adolescents.

I regard my present job as an important one. Can you now see why? A high school teacher who teaches for twenty years has imparted ideas, attitudes, and information to about 4000 young people. Each pupil has this teacher in front of his class for about 70 hours a year. Something must rub off... particularly if the teacher is known in the school as a committed Christian.

So in a nutshell, my task this year is to get as many of these Very Important People called teachers to become more mature Christians, before they arrive at their first school appointment.

Will you pray for me?

~~~

Broadsheets were the way we evangelized campuses: 'Was Jesus God?' (I re-typed it recently for our website) was reproduced (ie. roneoed) thousands of times, and proved to be a winner. I also read another recently - 'Was Jesus Too Good to be True?' And another was a one-page excerpt from John Stott's Basic Christianity titled 'What About Jesus?' Also a precis of C S Lewis's The Problem of Pain (foolscap, two sides, single-spaced!) - a book I read five times to absorb its powerful message (which I now have a few problems with, but that's another issue!).

I also wrote letters, articles and editorials for the national Baptist paper - The Australian Baptist. Here's an excerpt from an editorial I wrote for the issue of 30.7.69:

Generally, Christian students are as quietist as the churches from which they emanate. Their 'propaganda' hardly begins to match that of the New Left, either in quantity or persuasiveness. Sometimes their cliches, or stereotyped concepts of 'canned evangelism' inhibit their witness. They are, comparatively, poor apologists for their faith. Some over-react to any new truth they happen o discover; many espouse a cerebral neo-Calvinism; others are embracing Pentecostal experiences with their 'promise of pneumatic bliss' as TS Eliot puts it. Non-evangelical Christian students are excited about their latest concept - a 'Christian presence' within the universities (whatever that might mean).

Christian students have a rational faith, and an ever-relevant Saviour. We must encourage them to read theology (how many churches have a book-rack?), and train them in Christian leadership. Does your church pray for its students, and for the Inter-Varsity Fellowship? Does it provide a strong diet of Bible teaching? Too many students are thoroughly disenchanted with their local churches, many with good reasons. The Christian Church has failed to take students' doubts and questions seriously...

And so on... two single-spaced pages of foolscap (I hope some people read it). It was signed Rev. Rowland C. Croucher, Inter-Varsity Fellowship, 511 Kent St., Sydney, 2000.

*****

This morning in my devotions I was reading an old (June 1975) Expository Times - a monthly journal for clergy and theologians.

In it was a somewhat critical review of Dr. Leon Morris's IVP commentary on Luke. It said, in part: 'Dr Morris is well-versed in the current trends of (biblical) criticism and has provided a well-documented survey with measured criticism in some respects... While recognizing, albeit with considerable reservations, the values of Form and Redaction Criticism, he seems rather to react over-strongly against the skeptical tendencies... All in all there is much that is useful and good in this volume but we cannot avoid the regretful conclusions that it is not quite up to the standards we have come to expect from Dr. Morris.'

I stayed regularly in the Morris' flat on my IVF Staffworker trips to Melbourne. Leon Morris was a shy, gentle man, and sometimes hummed to himself in conversation-pauses. But he was a good friend of the IVF. A decade later I served with him on the council of the Victorian Evangelical Alliance.

Besides Leon Morris I have fond memories of friendship or acquaintance with key supporters of the IVF - like Charles Troutman (Gen. Sec. when I was president of the Bathurst CF), Ian Hore-Lacy (now a Facebook friend and still doing high-level scientific research and writing; I used to stay in his flat in Toorak (?) regularly), former Staffworkers Barry Newman (later a science teacher) Allen Chapple (who'd read about 1000 theological books before he joined IVF staff), Bill Andersen, John and Moyra Prince (who wrote an 80-page history of IVF/AFES), the then-governor of the Reserve Bank, Harold Knight (who once took me out to lunch), Klaas Runia (he gave a brilliant talk on the atonement, and I asked him if it was possible to get a copy of his ms. and he insisted I take his originals!), John Chapman (I don't think he was a uni graduate, but he certainly had a lot of influence over a couple of generations of students), Dudley Foord, Chua Wee Hian, John Reid, Anna Hogg, Edwin Judge, and Dr John Hercus (we still get Christmas cards from his widow Marjorie). Further back, I remember Howard Guinness, who started it all in Australia, addressing our IntersSchool Christian Fellowship group at Sydney Boys' High School in the early 1950s (he was then rector of St Michael's Vaucluse). I don't remember anything he said except that God had given him a large chin, and he had to learn to live with it!

18. MEDIA and INTERNET

2009-11-10T14:46:00.001-08:00

Fascination with mass media was birthed in my teenage years, from two sources - one dysfunctional (my loneliness, and consequent desire to be heard/read by a lot of people out there so that I could attain some sense of significance); the other more commendable (my calling to communicate the Good News with as many as possible).

Professionally, all this led me to studying the social psychology of Mass Media and Communication within a Masters' degree at the University of Sydney (I'll summarize all that sometime) and to accepting a job broadcasting Christian stuff on radio, with the Christian Broadcasting Association. This position was full-time in 1971 (weekly salary $80, $68 after tax!); part-time (writing weekly Christian news bulletins) in 1972 (while pursuing a part-time ministry at Central Baptist Church, and completing that Masters' degree). The most successful program I was involved in was the 45-minute 'Jesus the Revolutionary' (with Mal Garvin and John Hirt). 90 commercial radio stations used up a lot of their mandatory one-hour-per-week-for-religion with this - at it was at the height of the Jesus Revolution era.

Something else I did in those years was talk often on talk-back radio (mostly with Ormsby Wilkins). Here's a summary of one interesting conversation.

It's been an interesting ride since then doing occasional interviews on national radio and TV. For some of these see here (about homosexuality), here (exclusive brethren), here (homosexuality again), here (on the Bible) etc. etc. If you're desperate to read/view some more Google will probably help. The latest (October 2010) - here .

Then there's the Internet: a wonderful medium for communicating with a lot of people. The first corner - some of the 100,000 Usenet newsgroups. A few of us got the only Australian Christian newsgroup going back in the 1990s. Here's the FAQ for that group. (Earlier versions here.) Because Usenet groups comprise anybody at all (most of the groups are unmoderated), sometimes you can have some dramas on them (chase the history of this newsgroup - alt.christnet.christianlife - for a prize example). Liberty University invited me to give a lecture on Usenet Evangelism.

The JMM website has gathered momentum over the years - and gets up to 10,000 unique visitors a day (it's up there with three others in Australia: the official Catholic and Islamic and Salvation Army websites - though the SA incorporates all the local ones). The Google ads bring in a little income each month to our ministry.

Another way we have profited from the Internet is selling F W Boreham books on eBay. Boreham was/is Australia's and NZ's only significant religious collectible author. I eventually sold my personal collection (for $22,000!) when our ministry needed a car. If you see Borehams, buy them (if they're $10 or less for common titles) - you might find a bargain! I'm also beginning another collection if anyone out there has no need of theirs!

Browsing and evangelizing on the 'Net can have all sorts of unintended consequences. Like:

* Being called an idiot by young people for having certain views on this and that! (I don't meet those people in real life!)

* Getting strongly-worded legal 'cease and desist' emails from an American mob who reckon they had a proprietory ownership of the name 'Trading Post'. We'd been operating the F W Boreham Trading Post for years until then

* About every couple of months when I'm having a lazy day off I - like most honest people when they're prepared to admit it, and careful people when they're wise - do some 'ego-googling'. I found there was a sick man in another country who took on my name. I get nice emails from notables who find themselves mentioned or their book reviewed on the JMM site. And occasionally cranky emails from some author or other who wants more significant mention of their website or whatever. (I don't believe in copyright for my personal stuff: s'long as it's 'copied right')

* Occasionally I get an email from someone from my past: we probably never would have met apart from this marvelous medium. This of course includes stories about 'Rowland you were preaching in such-and-such a place, about ____, and it changed my life!' Marvelous! These emails include grateful - and occasionally critical - stories from former parishioners. See the chapter here on Blackburn Baptist Church for some examples...

19. INTERIM MINISTRIES

2009-11-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

1. CENTRAL BAPTIST CHURCH: Halfway through 1971 the deacons of the Central Baptist Church in downtown Sydney - Australia's first-established Baptist Church - approached me and asked if I would conduct an interim ministry for them. They were looking for a full-time pastor, and wanted someone to be the key preacher/pastor in the meantime. It seemed a good idea, and we had eighteen happy months there.

One of the challenges for this congregation was to continue to reach out to the Chinese community in Haymarket - which I feel they did well. The services were translated into Chinese and every Sunday we joined the Chinese people for lunch in the basement. But with the experience I had had with students I challenged the church to reach out to the thousands of nurses and students within their catchment area. Because I did not intend to stay I believed it was my job to 'open the windows' and prepare this very conservative congregation for change. We loosened up the services, I preached on topics of interest to students... and they started coming in dozens. On our last Sundays eighteen months later the church sanctuary and the gallery were full.

But these new people were not members, and had no power in terms of selecting a future pastor. About 8-9 months into our ministry there the deacons unanimously invited me to consider the full-time pastorate at 'Central'. I was hesitant, and I told them I would not have led in freeing up the whole place if I knew I'd be a candidate for the pastorate. The deacons insisted: so I agreed for my name to go to a meeting of members for a vote. I have a document which was agreed upon: continue to write church radio news for the Christian Broadcasting Association a half-day a week; continue to study for the Master of Education degree; and be free to preach elsewhere one day a month - particularly among students - Australian and overseas - and nurses. Proposed salary: Weekly stipend $100, Car Allowance $16 per week, Manse (or rent of $40 per week), Telephone $4 per week (approx!).

Here's an interesting paragraph in the Statement: 'Some changes in the church organization and methods which may assist in the further development of the church as a whole and which should be thoroughly examined by the diaconate are: (i) a possible split of the diaconate into two sections, an Administrative group and a Pastoral group; (ii) the work of the Church Council transferred to the full diaconate with committee leaders reporting directly to them; (iii) Any venture which is outside the church programme and budget but approved by the church should be proceeded with in faith; (iv) a Communion Service in a revised form to be reinstituted on Sunday evenings.'

That church business meeting was interesting: people who there whom very few knew: but, yes, they were on the roll; and obviously rounded up by phone for the occasion. I just lost the 2/3 vote, and the deacons were disappointed. So much so that they came back to me and asked for me to stay on anyway, and they would re-submit my name later. I told them I would pray about it.

In the meantime three ministries 'headhunted' me: the South Australian Baptist Union to be a Christian Education person; Carey Baptist Grammar School in Melbourne to be their senior chaplain; and Blackburn Baptist Church to be senior pastor. I did what I've only rarely done: put it all into four columns, listed the variables down the side of the page, and prayerfully weighed up the pros and cons. BBC came out on top, and rest, as they say (again) is history...

2. OTHER INTERIMS

Here are other churches I've served in an Interim or part-time capacity - from a couple of months to a couple of years, roughly in chronological order, and one or two key memories:

ETTALONG BAPTIST CHURCH NSW. The church had filled the swimming-pool in the back-yard of the Manse with dirt, because (apparently) the pastor shouldn't be regarded as having any luxurious privileges some of the congregation didn't enjoy!

In 1984 I was surprised to read this in a Christian magazine: '... The early morning light of that Christmas Day shone upon me as I knelt in a nearby church, and the minister led me in prayers of repentance and renunciation of the satanic ouija board. Its predictions never came to pass, because now I had tapped into a higher power which shattered the evil predictions and rendered them void and useless.' I was privileged to be that pastor at Ettalong Baptist Church that day.

ASHFIELD BAPTIST CHURCH NSW. I was youth pastor for a year, and enjoyed the preaching ministry of John Curtis. When I suggested that future 'church prayer meetings' would probably move away from mid-week church-wide events to small groups it was greeted with severe skepticism!

GYMEA BAPTIST CHURCH NSW. We went there after the Vancouver adventure. The secretary was sure we were called to pastor the church. Stayed with a lovely family - the Mapstones - all four of us. Jan I and our two girls learned to water-ski on the Georges River. The church eventually called Ross Clifford, now principal of Morling (Baptist) College and recently President of the Baptist Union of Australia, who had a good ministry there.

WANDIN BAPTIST CHURCH VICTORIA. My main memories surrounded the purchase of the property next to the little old church building (we met in the senior citizens' set-up across the road: I attended the opening of their new church building earlier this year (2010) and felt the church was in good hands!); and also the significant number of hurting people in the church. The secretary committed suicide a couple of years after I left. This one-year ministry helped us financially after the commencement of John Mark Ministries - a 'faith-ministry' with no other guaranteed income.

GLEN EIRA COMMUNITY CHRISTIAN CHURCH (BAPTIST) VICTORIA. The outstanding feature of this church was the wonderful way they blessed people who left (and unfortunately there have been quite a few). Mick and Dorrie Terrington and their family were the 'core group' in the church, supported by some other beautiful families and people. It was a privilege to have been there for several years, and to visit occasionally since... The church has unfortunately shrunk in size, but now concentrates on a ministry to Indian families under the leadership of John Piercey.

Shalom!

Rowland Croucher

20. BLACKBURN BAPTIST CHURCH

2009-11-10T14:39:00.004-08:00

(Updated October 2010)

This pastorate was the 'defining period' of my ministry-life... Eight marvelous years, when a suburban church in Melbourne grew to over 1,000 people, with nine on the pastoral team, 25 on the payroll, and hardly an unhappy moment.

As I think back on our Blackburn days, I'm constantly humbled at the beautiful relationship which exists between a pastoral shepherd and his or her flock - especially when that pastor is involved in significant events like rites of passage for individuals, and couples and families. I remember a father breaking down in tears as he poured out his pain for an hour in my study. Meeting him many years later, he reminded me of the healing he experienced in that shared grief. And the mother with her children who were threatened by a violent husband, and we arranged a secret place for them to stay (the man threatened to come and kill me).

A good lady in the 1970s wanted to tell the church God had repaired her teeth with pure gold fillings.

I said 'Let's get a Christian dentist to check them out first'

One quick look at them, and the dentist took me aside: 'Rowland, they're amalgum fillings, they're old, and very poor quality'.

She didn't get an opportunity to talk to the church, but she and I prayed together after this, and I thanked God and commended her for her openness to whatever the Lord wanted to do in her life...

Win-win: she became a stronger person/Christian out of this...

The stories are many...

One of the reasons this church was so healthy/happy was that the pastoral staff worked within the areas of their own 'giftings'. Each of us was called to a generalized ministry-position, but in reality wrote our own ministry-descriptions. You get highly motivated colleagues that way. A book by Marcus Burkingham and Curt Coffman, First, Break All the Rules, (Simon and Schuster, 1999) could have been written by our team. Break All the Rules makes the rather surprising assertion that people are not equally talented and that it is easier to match people’s talents to specific job responsibilities than to teach people to do things for which they have no talent. In other words, it’s easier to develop the talents that are there, than to put qualities into a person which God has not seen fit to give them.

Another reason this church was healthy is that there was only one 'skeleton in the closet' when I took over from Rev. David Griffiths. It was about an organ, which a good man in the congregation wanted the church to use, but which broke down at inconvenient times (it's now performing excellently at the church we now attend - East Doncaster Baptist). Anyway, one of my first jobs was to take the Church Secretary, Ian Timewell, to visit the organ-donor (!) and apologize for any hurt he might have suffered through his generosity. It was a good visit.

Ian Timewell was an excellent church secretary. A Government bureaucrat (Department of Railways) he was a very careful and methodical man. At his funeral, held in April 2008 at Box Hill Baptist Church, several people reminded us that Ian was not a person to 'bignote' himself, or 'please himself in the guise of pleasing God.' He was a good man. Thanks, Ian. (And his wife Kath was my first secretary at BBC - a good woman. Thanks to you too Kath).

Another factor: we listened to people. Everyone - well, 99% of attenders - filled in a Care Card each Sunday, with prayer requests, feedback, and questions. On my desk by 11 am Monday mornings I had up to four foolscap pages, single-spaced, with all this valuable information, and in the following Sunday's news-sheet we responded to a lot of it (and elders, pastors and deaconesses were detailed to follow-up people pastorally).

When the church auditorium was extended the question arose: how shall we clean this larger space each week? Easy solution: pay someone. Better: roster families with kids and others - four family-groups each Saturday - to do it (and, in a larger church, provide an opportunity to get to know each other). It worked well.

There were some 'stand-out' occasions. Like the time we invited a Jewish rabbi (John Levy) and an Arab Christian to debate the The Yom Kippur (Ramadan) War (1973). The Arab brought his friends who constantly heckled the rabbi. (Tom Keyte: 'If they're Christian Arabs, I wouldn't choose to meet the other kind!).

We weren't ready to have open forums on the issue of homosexuality, but I organized some private seminars at our home where we listened to the stories of gay people. That, remember, was the 1970s: I don't know of any other Baptist Church which discussed this issue back then.

I remember experiencing goose-bumps as the evening congregation sometimes spontaneously began singing along with the orchestra before the evening service began. The two songs I most associate with BBC days are our Benediction ('Now Unto Him') which we sang after every evening service, and, towards the end of our time there as we prepared to sell-up and go overseas, 'Because He lives I can face tomorrow'.

And from a perceptive friend:

It would be good to add something about the encouragement of the attenders / church folk / believers in their giftings. The encouragement of diversity and the culture of 'anyone can do it', according to those I've interviewed, resulted in a somewhat chaotic and huge range of ministries, including pioneer social ministries for the homeless etc, organised and run by volunteers (ie unpaid). An egalitarian approach, and an advertisement for the 'believer priesthood'. The challenge to look out for the marginal people was taught and modelled by the pastors. Also important was that the congregation was always challenged to accept each other's differences, eg charismatics and traditional mission-minded Baptists. Diversity was not scary but celebrated.

I had only four regrets leaving BBC. We should have bought the property between our site and Canterbury Road: several acres for future development. We made the mistake of giving the congregation and pros and cons of the purchase instead of providing a firm lead from the top! Subsequently the church paid something in the order of $13 million to relocate and build - on an excellent site in Burwood East. The second regret: I should have been more committed to leading the congregation into an Open Membership position. A few outspoken 'heavies' were against it. See the article on our website for my position on this question. The third: I would have liked a woman added to the pastoral team, but one of our senior pastors (Rev. Tom Keyte) vetoed my suggestion. The fourth, and more serious regret, was that in those heady days I said yes to too many interesting committees and projects and ministries, and should have been more present for our two eldest children. The pain continues - in them and in Jan and me - to this day...

In the 15 years after we left BBC, about 3-400 families and individuals also left (another story, which is not appropriate to opine about here) and I meet them in churches all over the place. A common (fervent) comment: 'We're realizing more and more what good times those Holland Road/ Blackburn Baptist days were!'

Here's a sample of the kinds of emails/letters I've received from many people over the years, during and after our time at 'BBC'. I've reproduced them here with the writers' permission, but decided to remove names and a few other identifying details.

Dear Rowland,

I don’t know if you’ll remember me or my family … but I wanted to write and say thanks for all you did for us many, many years ago.

My name is _ _ _ _ .

My mother _ _ _ _ joined Blackburn Baptist back in the late 70s – early 80s after my father, who was pastoring _ _ _ _ , resigned the church and took up with another woman.

You and your wife were incredible to my mother and her three children (_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ).

As I recall, the church gave my mother a loan to purchase a house with a ridiculously low interest rate of something like 2%. I remember being at your home fairly regularly for meals. The church was wonderful and we loved being part of it. Mum was part of a great cell group – led by the Costellos.

In short, Blackburn Baptist, in those days and under your leadership, with its love and generosity … saved our lives!

Mum remarried (_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ) while at Blackburn. They are still happily married and living in Brisbane where they attend an AOG church.

I became a journalist with Brisbane’s Courier Mail before taking up a position as youth pastor with an AOG Church. I am currently Senior Associate Pastor at _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .

_ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ are both living in Melbourne and attending an AOG church.

Anyway … it’s been many years since we were at Blackburn under your leadership, but we still talk of those days and the love and grace you showed our family at an incredibly difficult time. I just wanted to say thanks.

Second email:

Hi Rowland,

Yeah, if you wish to publish the email, that's fine.

Dad is on his third marriage!

Actually, his third wife is lovely and I'm very pleased that he seems to have found great happiness in that relationship.

He keeps a Bible by his bed and would still say that he is a Christian. But he certainly isn't attending a church anywhere.

Ironically, his wife is very soft towards the things of God. I have no doubt that at some stage they will both make a commitment to the Lord.

I often marvel at the fact that our family (mum, myself and my sisters) are all passionate about God and very much in love with the church. I look back and think how easy it would have been for us to become extremely cynical about church and the ministry. But we love it ... and I'm certain that it is in no small part due to the wonderful love and support we received from Blackburn when my parent's marriage broke up.

Kind Regards,

[Name withheld]

~~~~

Another:

I'll always remember the way you treated me with respect when I was a young teenager, always had time for my thoughts and ideas, it was very valuable to me. For some reason, I also have a memory of my sister lending you a copy of Dostoevsky's 'The Idiot'. Perhaps it represented a broader view of the world to me, I'm not sure.

I'm no longer part of the Australian Baptist or christian world...

[Name withheld]

~~~~~~~~

Another:

Great uncle Rowland,

You are something of a legend in our family's mythology. I imagine that you will remember _ _ _ _ _ _ and his family from your days at Blackburn Baptist.

I am his oldest son and I am a little older than your Amanda (I believe I danced with her at her yr 12 school prom) and I represent part of your impressive legacy.

You see, you apparently had the good sense to introduce my Dad to Jesus and he had the good sense to bring the discovery to me and I had the good sense to believe it.

Sitting down today to prepare a sermonette (for a retirement ministry my wife and I run) I stumbled across John Mark Ministry's website and saw your name.

So I thought I would drop you a line and let you know that your labours have produced a plentiful harvest in three generations of our family.

I attach a recent picture of my wife (_ _ _ _) and two kids (_ _ _ _ _ _ with a third on the way).

We are all deeply in your debt. Keep up the good fight.

Your (spiritual) great nephew,

~~~~~

Card in the mail April 2010:

Dear Rowland and Jan,

Just a thank-you note for the good things that happened at Blackburn Baptist. They were busy busy days for young families and energetic church-men and -women...

God bless you,
****

APPENDIX: CROSSWAY BAPTIST CHURCH

Here's an excerpt from the 2007 Crossway Baptist Church annual report, titled "New Beginnings..."

[I've added some comments (though I wasn't officially asked :-) in italics surrounded by square brackets]

"From Firm Foundations."

[First I must say Stuart and his colleagues have done an astonishing job in leading this church from strength to strength, to continue the growth that had been experienced in several previous 'generations' of the church's life. Any comments of mine here must not be read as detracting from my gratitude to God for what has happened].

Twenty five years ago on the first Sunday in February 1983 I [Stuart Robinson] commenced as Senior Pastor of what was then known as Blackburn Baptist Church in Holland Road, Blackburn South. For the previous fourteen years with Margaret and our three children I had been involved in church planting in South Asia.

I knew little or nothing about pastoring in Australia and the church to which I was called had long since been passed by the suburban sprawl which causes most churches to grow. Growth from then on would have to be by intentional evangelism.

[I'd be interested in the percentage that 'intentional evangelism' contributed to subsequent growth: a high exposure site and some excellent programs helped as well].

The church had already plateaued. One reason for this was sociological strangulation i.e. overcrowded facilities.

[I'd left a couple of years before Stuart arrived, and although we'd grown most years during our time at BBC - from several hundred to over 1,000 - yes, our facilities and parking at Holland Rd. were overcrowded].

That barrier was removed when we bought our first 6 acres of land at our Burwood East site in 1990. Subsequent purchases resulted in our buying a total of 15 acres. We moved into the first of our new buildings in September 1995.

[When asked unofficially by folks at BBC I endorsed in principle the move to Burwood East].

There have been many other changes in the last 25 years. These have included:

• On Site prayer – everyday.
• Twenty one day church wide prayer and fasting at the start of each year.

[The prayer-life of the church certainly received a much-needed boost with Stuart's encouragement].

• Growth Groups across the whole church.

[We had up to 60 groups across the whole church: we didn't call them 'growth groups' (a couple were 'recovery/support' groups and were not intended to grow)]

• Heartbeat – intentional practical community help through Growth Groups.
• A food bank – for those in need.
• Intentional outreach through primary and secondary schools, Mothers of Preschoolers, Playgroups, Mainly Music and Alpha.
• Multi site Crossway Movement operations at Burwood East, Cranbourne,
Craigieburn and Moreland.
• Multi lingual congregations in Cantonese, Korean, Mandarin, Indonesian and English.
• Intentional Church Planting (10 new congregations and 2 restarts).
• A Counselling Centre which in 2007 conducted 4200 sessions.
• The Crossway Conference to equip, encourage and empower church leaders who every year come from every state of the Commonwealth and overseas.
• Outwardly focussed major Christmas and Easter presentations.
• A cross cultural missions department which currently supports 56 staff doing church planting increasingly among difficult to reach people in the 10/40 window.
• Faith Promise Offerings to support our missionaries.
• Annual missions conferences.
• Regular short term missions trips overseas.
• Student Pastors and Interns from which most of our staff come.
• Upgraded professional qualifications for all staff. When I came I was the only one with accredited tertiary qualifications. Now all pastoral staff are at this standard and five have earned Doctorates.
• Significant Christmas and Easter Appeals to support other churches.

[All good emphases].

• The Bookshop.

[The Bookshop started in our time, and was already quite large by the beginning of the 1980s].

• An Administration Department.
• Incorporation under the Associations Incorporation Act of Victoria.
• Frequently rewritten constitutions to simplify church governance, to remove barriers to growth, to be staff led while remaining congregationally governed.

[I'm not 'up with' these developments, and deliberately don't buy into debates about them: but some feedback which comes to me uninvited is critical of the extent to which Crossway is not 'congregationally governed']

• Amortisation of all church debt.
• 400% growth.

Along the way we have learned that FAITH is spelt R-I-S-K. It is defined as "standing in the midst of miracles always on the edge of disaster". God's work done in God's way has always attracted God's support.

All that He has done in the last 25 years is but a foundation for the even more glorious decades to come under Pastor Dale Stephenson's leadership from 2008 onward.

[I like what I've heard about Dale's first weeks at Crossway].

The future remains as bright as the promises of our Lord, provided we continue to make His last command our first priority.

Margaret and I thank you for the privilege of being door keepers in this house of the Lord from 1983-2008 as He has grown it to become A Caring Community of Prayerful People Empowered and Ministering in Melbourne and Beyond.

[With the qualifications noted above, I would endorse most of what has happened in the last 25 years. I am on public record in lots of places encouraging greater theological as well as ethnic pluralism in our churches, and more intentionally practising Jesus' prophetic emphasis on social justice...

Not that my opinion counts for anything at Crossway these days, and that's as it should be... Only about 50 of the people who were regularly-attending members when I left in 1981 stayed with the church during these challenging times through to the present].

Appendix 2: MEMBERSHIP AND ATTENDANCE STATISTICS FOR BBC/CROSSWAY.

Growth/decline of church membership always tells a story. In Australian Baptist Churches 'membership' is taken seriously, so it's very rare that the numbers of members at any given time are higher than attendances. Here's a list of membership by NUMBER OF MEMBERS BBC/CROSSWAY FOR its 54 YEARS until 2007. (The 1, 2, 3, figures are 'years old'):

Total Members: Foundation members 37,
1 50,
2 71.

(George Ashworth pastor):
3 83,
4 81,
5 94,
6 96,
7 118,
8 131,
9 142.

(David Griffiths pastor):
10 168,
11 215,
12 235,
13 258,
14 267,
15 303,
16 309,
17 344,
18 338,
19 340.

(Rowland Croucher senior pastor):
20 379,
21 443,
22 505,
23 532,
24 534, (a plateau reflecting a year of relocation to a High School during building extensions),
25 608,
26 635,
27 676,
28 772.

(Interim period after the Crouchers left): 29 732.

(Stuart Robinson senior pastor):
30 721,
31 764,
32 743,
33 786,
34 736,
35 709,
36 709,
37 743,
38 645,
39 651,
40 649,
41 664,
42 660,
43 668,
44 712,
45 770,
46 858,
47 966,
48 1068,
49 1187,
50 1281,
51 1283,
52 1293,
53 1379,
54...

Shalom/Salaam/Pax! Rowland Croucher

21. VANCOUVER

2009-11-10T14:39:00.003-08:00

A young man came before the Board of that church to tell them of his call to full-time pastoral ministry. 'I put my heart and soul into that presentation,' he told me. 'My whole life was on the line. It was a very emotional and spiritually-charged thing for me. And when I poured out my heart to them, what was the response? They all looked at me. No one said anything. No response. Can you believe that?' Yes, my friend, I can.

~~~

Recently in the U.S. I talked with an American church leader who'd spent some years in local church ministry in Canada. He was forthright, and scathing about the 'Canadian ethos': 'Canadians are adept self-deceivers. The are hidebound and into hierarchies. They don't know when they're not telling the truth. The country has very few entrepreneurs. The theological diversity of the U.S. has passed Canada by: very few seminaries in Canada are committed to diversity: they are mostly ideologically-driven. Canadian Baptists - both major groups - stopped their momentum about 1965.'

~~~

I have had a 'dream run' in terms of the churches I've been privileged to pastor. Narwee Baptist Church in Sydney was an ideal community to begin a pastoral vocation, and Blackburn Baptist Church (now Crossway) in Melbourne an ideal community to stretch my 'pastoral wings'... And there were several interesting interim ministries along the way as well.

But my last full-time pastorate was another story. Here's a letter I've just unearthed in a box of old correspondence, which I wrote to my subsequent employer about 'the Vancouver adventure.' It happened 25 years ago, so now is probably a good time to release some of this information. (Harold Henderson was/is a good friend, and we'd known each other for many years...)

~~~

2484 Ottawa Ave., West Vancouver B.C. Canada V7V 2T1

Harold Henderson World Vision Melbourne Australia 3001

Dear Harold,

I am writing at your request to give you, as objectively as I can, details of our short ministry at First Baptist Church, Vancouver, and reasons for its termination after nine months. Feel free to share this with members of the World Vision Board, but I would ask that it go no further, out of deference to an agreement I made with the church's executive about confidentiality.

Perhaps we could start with a brief history of the church. It currently has about 1,000 members (probably, realistically, we could say about 600 active) and was at a pretty low ebb when Dr. Roy Bell became its pastor about 13 years ago. Under his competent leadership - and particularly due to his outstanding preaching gifts - the church grew to its present size. He resigned (as did his two or three associates) about the middle of 1981.

The 'pulpit committee' first approached me in February 1981 (Roy had given notice of his impending resignation at the end of 1980), and Jan and I met with them in May. We had five days of very frank discussion, and the outcome of it all was a 3-4 page list of an Agreement or 'understandings' which was circulated to each of those 12 or so people. It was agreed that certain key items from these 'understandings' would be shared with the church - particularly those involving possible major expenditures staff-wise. Two key areas of 'understanding' were that I would come as senior pastor/preacher but have another senior staff member (John Schaper, who had been on the Billy Graham team, working with Dr. Leighton Ford) to look after the administrative side of things, and within one year we would call a further senior staff member to look after the pastoral care of the church. All this was very clear - to all of us.

I began a ministry with the church in September of that year. We had prayed earnestly about the venture, and all the signs pointed to our coming to Vancouver. I was very happy at Blackburn. That church had become Australia's largest Baptist Church and was still growing, with beautiful relationships among the staff and people. One part of us did not want to leave, but another needed the challenge of a more 'stretching' ministry. Looking back, we believe more than ever we were meant to come to Vancouver despite all the pain, and that 'BBC' could have become too comfortable for us if we'd stayed. Let me hasten to add that many key people at Blackburn strongly felt it was still too soon for us to leave, and no one had initiated any move for us to go.

When I arrived in Vancouver, I soon learnt that there were several serious matters which had occurred which caused us to begin with severe handicaps. Perhaps these are best dealt with in subject-order:

[1] The financial implications of the 'Agreement' between the pulpit committee and us were (a) not researched at all and (b) not conveyed to the church. So when I began asking about certain aspects of this agreement the Finance Board of the church were non-plussed. Members of the pulpit committee backed out of the issue saying they had no power to make 'agreements' anyway - that was the prerogative of the church. But the church, I reminded them, was not given the necessary data. Well, we felt they were but they didn't listen, I was told. Checking around, I found that there may have been some truth in this: perhaps the euphoria at finding a senior pastor caused people not to listen too carefully. But there were some fairly hard-headed, objective people at that meeting who assert they didn't hear any of this at all. One key leader, an astute younger businessman, told me frankly later that the pulpit committee had simply 'let out more and more line' to catch this fish, and simply assumed that increased attendances and offerings would eventually pay for what might prove to be a whopping budget increase in the worst year economically and financially since the Great Depression! However, by that time (about three months into our ministry) offerings were up by about 20% anyway (whereas every other Baptist church in the area we researched saw their offerings go down by about the same percentage). You can understand how this sort of fracas is not the way to begin a ministry. I didn't unduly press the points of our Agreement, to save embarrassment I was sensing around the place. In fact we were prepared to live with staff levels pegged if that was necessary due to financial constraints.

[2] The two key people on the pulpit committee - the chairperson and the vice-chairman - were not at the church when I arrived. One had been transferred out of the state, and the other had previously decided to attend a church nearer their home. These two gaps were filled by a couple of much more conservative people. The chairperson of the pulpit committee also happened to be the moderator of the church, so that other position had to be filled too.

[3] Before I was interviewed, three other persons had also been called to fill staff vacancies. This, we all now believe, was a mistake. Pastoral staff-members should be involved in choosing each other. My ministry-description was very clear that I was not to be an 'office-person', but rather a people-person, working mainly from home reading and preparing for a rigorous pulpit and teaching ministry. A couple of the staff were quite outspoken, after a few weeks, that I ought to be around the church office much more than I was (which was about four days a week in the initial stages anyway). One of them seemed to develop quite an antipathy to me - wouldn't speak to me or greet me etc. I had never in my life had any kind of response like this from any person I'd ever worked with professionally, and was not adequately prepared for it. I was always civil to this person, and we had some long talks, and prayed together about it all, but both agreed that it was unsolvable. This person, however, got some others on side, made submissions to the executive of the church, who apparently came to the conclusion that I was not able to competently lead a staff-team.

[4] After about six months - during which congregations were slowly growing, and the vast majority of the people were apparently in good heart - another issue rose to the surface which probably, in the end, proved to be the catalyst in bringing our ministry to a close. It was the ecumenical question. I happen to believe, in principle, that there is no justification for withholding fellowship from other Christians who also subscribe to a confession that 'Jesus Christ is Savior, Lord and God, according to the Scriptures'. This is the key confessional point of the World Council of Churches' charter. I may not agree with many of the radical pronouncements of WCC spokespersons in Geneva (I don't), and also happen to agree with the position of the Salvation Army with regard to the Program to Combat Racism. But that said, I can't, in conscience, withhold fellowship from other confessing Christians, and may, if humble enough learn from them, even if we differ theologically. With John Stott, I believe that we as evangelicals ought to be 'in there', dialoguing, rather than standing aloof.

Now I didn't preach about this: I hope I'm experienced enough to know that what divides Christians from one another is generally not a fit subject for regular preaching, especially in the first year of one's ministry. However, I did raise the issue once (and only once) at a leaders' meeting in our home, a proper place I thought, for discussion and clarification (and for me, briefing) on such questions. I was honestly wanting an open, honest sharing of views with these people. Well, as soon as I innocently raised the issue I knew a hornet's nest had been invaded. I was not aware of the deeply-help view of many Canadian Baptists on this point. It was not raised in my discussions with the pulpit committee - a mistake by both parties, in retrospect. Later, after some long discussions on this subject with Roy Bell, I understood a little both the history of the issue in Canada (which has some unique elements which an Australian might find difficult to comprehend), and Roy's own deep convictions on the question. He and I had to agree to differ here... Anyway, the small group of people who comprised the executive of the church became alarmed when they heard my views, and this alarm was severely exacerbated by two other factors. One of them - and I think this was the 'crunch' issue - was the forthcoming WCC Assembly in Vancouver, of all places! Ours was the largest city congregation in Vancouver, and the largest Baptist congregation in British Columbia, and to have the senior pastor here being pro-ecumenical, whereas the whole denomination is not, was something they couldn't handle at all. The other factor deserves another section.

[5] The executive of the Board of the church, in this congregation, exercises full and complete authority in matters of ultimate 'hiring and firing' of staff. These are five people, one of them over 80 years of age, another in the late 70s, another about 60 (the three key people), and the other two were slightly younger. Only one of the five was a native-born Canadian; the others were British emigrants (a significant factor, which I won't elaborate upon at this point). Their rationale for dealing with important matters staff-wise without much reference to the Board or the church was, in theory, a plausible one: it had to do with maintaining 'confidentiality'. However these people had taken to themselves far more power than many in the church thought appropriate. The only discussion they ever had with John Schaper, for example, was when they met with him to fire him - about three months before I resigned. One of the difficulties this executive had with me was that they couldn't give me any reason, theologically, for holding their anti-ecumenical stance.. It was only a question for them, of denominational loyalty and precedent, not of principle, and when I would innocently ask 'But what do you believe?' their only recourse was to excuse their ignorance of theology. As soon as I read the signals here I desisted from further discussion of theological matters - for their sakes.

[6] Although the ecumenical issue was the key one, and brought the whole question of the viability of our ministry to a head very quickly, there were a few other contributing factors. There's 'the way Canadians do things'. Better-educated and well-traveled Canadians are very critical of their compatriots, on one main count. 'Canadians know what they don't want, ie. anything that seems "American". ' Marshall McLuhan said Canadians are the only nation on earth not to have an identity. That's probably a bit hard. There are many aspects of Canadian life and culture which are highly commendable. It's a beautiful country - both its scenery, and the disposition of its people. Canadians are more reserved than Americans. They are 'background' folks: the Amerians are 'foreground' people. I made a mistake when I handed around to the leadership and staff a book on Team Ministry by Lyle Schaller - which has some good insights into large churches. I received a lot of negative static about that book - less for its substance than for its American origins.

I think I'm an adaptable person, sensitive to others' situations and histories and tastes. But I often come across to people as someone who know's where he's going. I am - and feel - fairly confident in most situations. That was my 'fatal flaw' in Vancouver. If you feel confident, my close Canadian friends told me, act as if you're not, or at least pretend to be tentative. Otherwise you'll seem to be too 'American'. And that's apparently how I came across to these good people. Why hadn't they looked for an American pastor? 'Americans don't fit in here'. (They tend to last, on average, 1 - 2 years before heading south again, disillusioned, though there are some notable exceptions). One needs to understand the effects of the juxtaposition of these two countries - particularly from a cultural and economic perspective - to get a feel for Canadians' defensiveness. It's a very real concern for them that they remain 'Canadian', not American.

A note in passing: so what other criteria led the church to approach an Australian? Their senior pastor, besides *not* being American, ought to be a good communicator whose English was easily understood, with substantial academic/ theological credentials, ought to be 'evangelical' with openness to charismatic renewal (!), and have had some experience in leading a multiple-staff team in a large Baptist church. There were only half a dozen of us in the non-American world. I was, for better or worse, commended to them by two people who knew me and preached for them from time to time - John Stott and Leighton Ford.

[7] It's a truism in churches - or in any human institution for that matter - that if a system has worked well, conservative mind-sets will have difficulty coping with the idea of changing it in major areas. When, after many hours of frank talks with the executive, we got to the point of my tendering a resignation (they insisted they'd never ask for it), we then had to wrestle with the question: what do we tell the Board, and the Church? The immediate, frank response from the strongest person on the executive: 'It's essentially a question of change: we're too conservative here for you.' My response: 'But in our worship services, or administratively, nothing of substance has changed; it's been far too early.' Their reply: 'Yes, that might be so, but we're afraid of what *might* happen down the road.' I asked a couple of people on the pulpit committee what they meant when in our initial talks I heard a dozen times 'Rowland, we're ready for change.' They had two responses: (a) That was said by a couple of strong key people who subsequently left before you came; and (b) 'We *were* ready for change - but only of personnel!'

Can I make a confession? I was very angry when I heard that! It was, to put the softest interpretation on it, deceptive.

As we've prayed and thought through all these issues, several learnings have been gleaned from them. Most importantly, God has been working through this situation for our good - and for the church's, too. They're a city/downtown church, proud of their tradition and recent history, not really a community in any real sense (this was previous pastors' greatest disappointment with the church), and now they've called an English pastor who could serve them well. [He was principal of a Bible College in London, England, whom they'd approached earlier, before approaching me, but he'd declined. Now they got him - and he had a solid ministry there until January 2001]. I needed to experience a 'dark night of the soul' to learn many things, spiritually and psychologically. I'd never really failed at anything before - and that's not necessarily good! This last year has been the richest, spiritually, of my life, and never could have been that rich without those experiences. As an important by-product, I feel more adequate in relating to clergy who've had a rough time with their callings. This is part of the reason I'm committed to serving pastors and church-leaders in Australia for the foreseeable future. Those who've had a hard time in ministry are terribly lonely people, by and large.

A few random notes:

* All of the seasoned Canadian pastors I've spoken to have had a similar experience to all this, at least once. One of them said to me 'Canadians won't be led. That's why our churches are small generally. We've got too much paranoia in our culture.'

* Six staff members left within a six-month period, which suggests there's been something wrong with the lay leadership of the church.

* I'd inadvertently made the mistake of somehow raising their expectations too high, and that's something I'll have to work on. (Conversely, that pulpit committee did the same with the church!).

* Another learning: I've always spent a lot of time in a new situation getting to know all the people. In this case we organized 20-30 home-groups where Jan and I could meet people (and they could meet each other!). I should have spent a lot more time relating to the 'power' people (which aren't always, of course, the elected leaders, though in this case they were).

* The pulpit committee and I should have been crystal-clear about what was to be conveyed to the church in the meeting to discuss the call. A lot of our troubles could have been obviated if that had happened: I was too trusting on that score.

* I'm also more sensitive and, I hope, understanding of those whose insecurities lead them to trust in systems of one sort or another. Our faith is to be in Christ, not in our systems - ecclesiastical or theological.

* Finally, I was too self-sufficient, and for any Christian that tendency has within it the seeds of death. Again, our 'sufficiency' is to be in our relationship to Christ.

Harold, sorry for the rambling contents of this epistle. The final thing I want to say is that I was vindicated by the two local Baptist superintendents I insisted come in on our discussions. They got so angry (in a nice Canadian way) with that executive, that I've learned they insisted the church continue to support us financially - on full stipend - for six months after our resignation-date. (By the way, the 'stipend' cheque was sent in the mail each fortnight, with no accompanying note - not even with the last one!). That enabled me some breathing-space to do some Doctor of Misnistry studies at Fuller Seminary, in Pasadena (fees and airfares were paid for by a gift from a wealthy Canadian friend). (I've also been approached by a few Canadian churches to be their pastor - one with a stipend of $60,000 plus manse, all expenses and car!) but we've declined them all...

Love and peace,

Rowland Croucher

****

Footnote: added 18/8/2008: Canada is an interesting country.

A plus: Canada would have the friendliest and fairest police/justice system of any country I've visited...

A minus: An Australian friend working in Canada said to me recently: 'Canadians don't know who they are... but they won't let you be anything else!'

****

(There are more important dimensions to this story - including how all this affected our family - but they will be written up another time).

****

COMMENT:

Mike said...

Having been out of the pastorate for several years I shudder somewhat when I read about Rowland's struggle at FBC. On the other hand, reading about FBC also brings back some great memories. From the mid 70's to the early 80's I found FBC a wonderful place to grow in Christ. Roy's preaching was brilliant, there were many loving diverse people, and Hobbit House in particular helped me to grow in service and outreach. We also had many significant times of personal sharing and song worship, especially at evening services. In addition, there was some good development of future pastors through an internship program. Partly through that I became a pastor in the Baptist Union of Canada and then in Australia.
Unfortunately, few from the elected leadership at FBC mixed much with the core of the congregation. I'm not sure how much Roy tried to "confront" them in regard to forming a true eldership and being involved in personal ministry. But I do know that in regard to "charismatic" issues there was plenty of fear. At any rate, the full church never did become a community; even though there were many many wonderful times involving the pastors and the hundreds of other eager, growing Christians. The bottom line is that there were almost two churches within the one church; able to co-exist largely through Roy's political cunning or savvy.
When I met the church board, seeking their commendation of me as a candidate for ordination, not one person said anything in response when I told them of my call to ministry and vision for the pastorate. No one even asked me any questions. They only wanted to know what Roy thought. Since he was very happy to see me in pastoral ministry, they all voted "yes" when I left the room.
I must also say that my wife and I met Rowland and Jan when they visited Vancouver, just before they moved there. My wife and I were about to go to another city to begin in our first pastorate. I remember hearing Rowland talk about some of his vision for "First". He mentioned in particular making Sunday morning a "showcase" for the community. He also seemed very confident about how some new innovations would make the church grow numerically. Reading his blog, he was not there long enough to implement many of those things. But I remember telling him that I thought it was a mistake to try to make First Baptist look more impressive or attractive to the world, because much of it's strength lay in its ability to see the worth of those the world despises; something exhibited especially in the ministry through Hobbit House. I suggested going very slowly in regard to "dressing things up".
I appreciate Rowland's candor and his desire to be honest about his own convictions and feelings. I also applaud his desire to dialogue with anyone anywhere who is willing to pursue truth and a better understanding of God and his ways in Christ. That's how we grow I reckon.

July 30, 2008 10:32 PM

22. FULLER THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

2009-11-10T14:39:00.001-08:00

In the last chapter I wrote pretty candidly about our short ministry at First Baptist Church Vancouver.

It was a disaster in some ways: not that the church suffered (I think only a few families left - most didn't know what was going on)... But one of the side-benefits was a gift from a well-to-do friend of $10,000 Canadian to pursue Doctor of Ministry studies at Fuller Theological Seminary.

So I commuted from Vancouver to Los Angeles for a year then attended more seminars back-to-back during the first three months of our little family's journey home to Australia. Jan 'homeschooled' Amanda and Lindy but those girls had a wonderful time swimming in a pool at the visiting students' quarters . We lived in a faculty member's home while they were away. A very rich experience.

Back to the DMin. It was a terrific program, and as I could attend as many seminars beyond the basic requirements as I wished, I did just that. I got to know some special people - Dr. Arch Hart (whom I later invited to come to Australia - which he has done regularly since, to speak to pastors' conferences about Stress and Burnout in Ministry), Richard Foster, Roberta Hestenes, Ray Anderson and many others.

I finally did a major study of the first century church in Antioch - there's a simplified summary in my little book published by the Uniting Church, 'Your Church Can Come Alive'. The gist of it is on our website.

Another privilege was to teach, sometime in the 1980s, the DMin intensive on Spirituality for Ministry, until Eugene Peterson was available. Some of the chapters in my devotional book High Mountains Deep Valleys were written by those students.

More to come...

23. WORLD VISION AND 'GRID'

2009-11-10T14:38:00.003-08:00

This just came to mind: After 50 years 'in the workforce' I only know eight people (5 males and 3 females) who found it difficult to work with me. Interesting, all the males were short (I'm tall); three of them were work colleagues, two were parishioners. One of my bosses had a primary agenda of enhancing his own status within the organization, rather than enhancing the ministries of those reporting to him. It's difficult to be (a) humble, with a genuine servant-spirit and (b) true to one's own unique calling, in a situation like that. The three females... (how can I put this?) I judge had personal expectations for me which I could/did not fulfil...

I was invited to a ministry with World Vision by Australia's Executive Director, Harold Henderson. We were living in Canada at the time, and as part of the interview process I wanted to share my perspectives on the previous two years' difficult experience as pastor/ex-pastor of First Baptist Church, Vancouver.

We took six months for the four of us (the girls were 9 and 11) to travel home - via a car trip from Vancouver to Mexico, two months in LA while I did some DMin study, then Toronto, UK, Europe, Cyprus, Israel, Kenya, Zimbabwe, South Africa. We landed into Karen and Ross's and Abbie's home for a couple of months (at 13 Orchid St Heathmont) until we found a place of our own (7 Bangor Court, Heathmont - moved in April 2, 1984).

My job in WV: do whatever God had called me to do within the churches of Australia (and beyond) as a 'gift' from World Vision for their support. At the time there were negative noises from many church leaders about all the money being siphoned off to this wealthy NGO at the expense of their own ministries. A challenging task! And helped greatly by a wonderfully faithful and competent secretary/research assistant, Grace Thomlinson.

One of the first things I wanted to do was rejuvenate the Leadership Letter, called GRID. It went to every pastor - and many church leaders - on our database: 23,000 in all, every quarter. The response was quite gratifying. One article saw 600 letters in response! Pastors reproduced these articles for their leaders, and some of them were eventually published in a couple of books

My rough calculation is that then and since I've spoken in seminars and preaching to 700 congregations and/or their leaders around Australia. This included about 20 diocesan and other Anglican clergy conferences (which included preaching in three or four cathedrals), the 'Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' in Sydney (a progressive off-shoot of the Mormon church), four or five major Seventh-day Adventist conferences, 14 trips to Papua New Guinea (for missionaries' conferences mainly), the University of Queensland's annual commencement service, a charismatic German Presbyterian Church in Pennsylvania, Pentecostal/Charismatic conferences (mainly the more progressive ones, rarely the Assemblies of God), conferences of Baptist and Churches of Christ pastors in every state, a couple of aboriginal conferences, a few seminars with Brethren pastors/elders (they waited 30 years to invite me back!)... you name it...

24. PUBLICATIONS

2009-11-10T14:38:00.001-08:00

All the following are out of print. I have some titles available for sale... Feel free to email your enquiries.

1. Still Waters Deep Waters (Albatross/Lion) (I have some copies available for sale - $20 AUD plus postage)

2. High Mountains Deep Valleys (Albatross/Lion)

3. Rivers in the Desert (Albatross/Lion)

4. Gentle Darkness (Albatross/Lion)

5. A Garden of Solitude (Albatross/Lion) (This final volume in this series has an index to all five volumes. I have some copies available for sale - $20 AUD plus postage)

These five books comprise about 300-400+ pages of Scripture, homilies, quotes from spiritual masters and popular writers, prayers and benedictions - on 52 themes in each book. Ideal for individual, couples' or group devotions, for some doctors' and counsellors' waiting-rooms. And - 52 free sermons/devotional talks in each for preachers! An Anglican bishop told me he could prepare a full devotional talk for a seniors' meeting in five minutes - the ideas, scripture, prayer, and benediction were all there in each chapter!

6. Grow! (Meditations and Prayers for New Christians) (JBCE)

7. Live! (More Meditations and Prayers for Christians) (JBCE)

Two books with the same format as the Still Waters series, but answering the Big Questions about Christianity (Suffering, Is Ghandi in Heaven? etc.) They are out of print and are not available in bookshops, but most of the chapters are now on the JMM website. I have a few copies for sale.

8. The Family: At Home in a Heartless World (HarperCollins) Chapters for parents, singles, teenagers, marrieds, grandparents, etc. Same format as for Still Waters. All chapters are in the Family and Relationships section of the JMM website. I have a few copies for sale.

9. The Best of GRID (World Vision). Ten years of World Vision Australia's leadership letters. Articles on stress & burnout, conflict management, time management etc. (Most articles I've written are on our website)

9a. A Hungry Mind (MARC Europe) - various articles from GRID and other sources. (Most articles are on our website)

10. Recent Trends Among Evangelicals (Albatross/ John Mark Ministries). This book's a bit 'hot': suggests evangelicals (like me) are really, at heart, Pharisees.

11. Sunrise Sunset (HarperCollins). Scripture, meditation and prayer for every day of the year. See the Sunrise Sunset section of the JMM website.

12. Your Church Can Come Alive (JBCE). DVDs available - four-and-a-half hour seminar on the marks of a healthy church. Price: $45 AUD.

25. JOHN MARK MINISTRIES

2009-11-10T14:37:00.004-08:00

We began - about six church/denominational leaders - on April Fool's Day, 1991. We 'burnt our bridges behind us' - no money in the bank, no promise of financial support from anyone...All we had was my executive car (sounds grand, but it was the cheapest family car you could buy) and some books donated by World Vision; a vision for helping hurting pastors and ex-pastors and their spouses... And a lot of goodwill from a lot of people...

We have three full-time staff-members – Les Scarborough (N.S.W.), Tim Dyer (Tasmania), and myself, based in Melbourne. To summarize our philosophy/ theology: we are seeking to facilitate within ourselves, and with/for others, what Jesus called ‘the key of knowledge/understanding’ (Luke 11:52), which he taught was all about ‘justice and love’ (Luke 11:42). In other words, how do individuals and churches get to know and love God better, relate to one another in love and justice, and serve the world in terms of justice, compassion and preaching the Christian Good News (Matthew 23:23)?

I (Rowland) work from our home in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Most counseling happens while walking along the nearby Dandenong Creek walking trails. We added a 'Loft' - bedroom/study with en-suite - to our home in the late 1980s where people could stay for 'time-out' or for retreats. Here's something from an ex-nun:

'Some time ago I went to Victoria and spent a peaceful week, staying in "the loft" at the Crouchers' home. There I was able to enjoy a peaceful time communing with the Lord, while at the same time feeling part of the family, and included in the family celebration of Christmas. One of the delights was the opportunity to walk and enjoy a delightful nature walk close by. It was a very special time for me.'

That loft now has other uses, so in 2008-9 we built a larger, self-contained flat. It is available for most live-in retreat-clients.

What do we do?

John Mark Ministries exists to support pastors, ex-pastors, church leaders and their spouses. As Director, I have the following ‘strings to my bow’:

* Seminars for pastors and other professional people on a variety of topics;

* counseling – pastors, spouses, others; professional reading; evangelism;

* preaching/teaching;

* research: why have 10,000 Australian pastors left parish ministry? (This research is ready for someone else to continue if they want an easy Masters’ or PhD degree!)

* writing: books (see below) but mostly book reviews and articles for Christian leaders;

* church audits; overseas conferences for pastors/leaders/ missionaries;

A friend emailed me:

‘My wife and I are trying to find someone to talk to about how we can get the most out of our marriage. Are you able to help us? If so, what are your rates?

See the articles on Retreats and Counseling in the Drop-down menu Ministry Information on the website’s frontpage.

Are you interested in inviting Rowland Croucher for a ministry-visit? Read on:

INFORMATION FOR CLIENTS

Dear ‘friend of John Mark’,

Thank you for inviting Rowland Croucher to participate in counseling/preaching/seminar leading.

John Mark Ministries is a Christian, non-profit organization. I get no salary, and after a few overheads are met, all donations go to various mission-projects.

Topics for seminars/preaching: Your Church Can Come Alive; Leadership; Poverty, Hunger and Justice Issues; Stress and Spirituality in Ministry; Time management for Church Leaders; Diagnosing the Health of Your Church; Megatrends in the Church Around the World; How to Survive as a Pastors’ Spouse; Why Clergy leave Parish Ministry, How to Pursue Excellence Without Cracking Up. See here for my seminal articles on these subjects.

26. COUNSELING

2009-11-10T14:37:00.003-08:00

Watch this space!

27. SENIOR YEARS

2009-11-10T14:37:00.001-08:00

I wrote this eight years ago, when I was 64:

Is 64 old or young? I run up stairs, spend a couple of hours a day on the computer, and surf the Net, change my mind from time to time when new information comes along (like using non-sexist language); try to read or learn something new each year – I guess that’s ‘young’. But when I look in the mirror I sometimes see my father; a few joints don’t work properly; I hate instruction manuals or fixing things; some 40-year-old counselees relate to me as ‘the father they never had’; I know who BiggIes is; I’m ready to die because I’ve achieved many of my life’s goals – these mean I’m probably ‘old’. (However as Rabbi Tarphan wisely said, ‘It is not necessary for you to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it’).

These days, I nap most afternoons, give away more than I hoard, still don’t enjoy the telephone, and am looking forward to spending a couple of months' long-service leave (Jan's; I've never stayed long enough in one ministry to earn it!).

There’s an interesting German word Alterszorn. It means the ‘rage of age’, and refers to the habit of some older people to go over the polemical edge. I can relate to that.

COUNTDOWN TO RETIREMENT

I gave an address last year to a 'Preparing for Retirement' seminar. (See the five articles written for The International Year of the Older Person on JMM's website for the substance of what I said). As part of the talk I listed all the reasons why I'm happy to be in my sixties:

* These days I can sit and look at the trees and the birds without thinking I should be 'doing' something. I can relax with a clear conscience

* I've achieved most of my life goals

* Although we had a $90,000 mortgage my wife and I for the first time in our lives are saving a little

* Our sex life has been sorted out

* I don't mind doing a few chores

* My wife and I know 'who has the veto where' in our relationship. She has veto power in the kitchen, and anything to do with colour schemes for house or car; I've forgotten where my veto lies :-)

* Our grandchildren are a joy to us; it's good that they're someone else's ultimate responsibility

* I don't need recognition anymore (I sometimes switch off during fullsome introductions); I've nothing to prove anymore (which is one reason I don't bother answering rude Internet newsgroup posters)

* I have time to pray and read (and read a few inconsequential books, like one I'm into at the moment titled How to Be a Man: watch for my review of it)

* I try to learn a new skill every year: mastering a few corners of the 'Net has occupied the last five years!

* Ours is a five-minutes-a-month garden (euphemistically called an 'Australian native garden'); I enjoy that

* I've found myself enjoying talking to strangers for the first time in my life; most years I've been 'peopled out'

* It's nice to be home most nights

* I don't have so many 'accidents' or make so many mistakes (that I'm aware of)

* It's nice to be on one committee only: our John Mark Ministries Board, which meets about three times a year

* I know my limitations (I think)

* I think I know how the Devil gets to me and how to thwart him/her

* I don't worry about 'image' any more; my wife often suggests what to wear; and anyone want a sick 1970 Holden Torana car? [Update: We gave it away and I sold my F. W. Boreham collection to buy a new car].

* I can say/write what I think, and hopefully communicate with humour and love and wisdom; I don't need to score points against anyone anymore (unless they're part of an unjust system)

* I've realized that success will feed your ego, but never your soul

* I think I know what can be changed and what can't

* I'm toying with setting a couple of new goals - like entering the veterans' Olympics (I reckon I could run faster than most of them!)

* Last week I enjoyed beating my Freecell best-score with a 100-game winning streak. (If you don't know what Freecell is you're probably better off - more time for other things. OTOH if you want to chase it through the search engines, you'll find there's a Freecell game no one's figured out)

* I'm now free to give more stuff away than I hoard, and I'm looking forward to the time when I'll know where everything - including books - is, 'cos I won't have so much stuff

* I don't worry anymore about how slow the 'Net is downloading some sites; I just reach behind me to a pile of papers I can sort while it's happening. I have a conspiracy theory about the 'speed' motivation to buy the latest...

* Above all, I hope the accumulated wisdom of the last 63 years has equipped me better to do my job, which is to figure out how people, families and churches can be happier.

*****

I'm now 72, and I'm not sure I've actually retired. The only thing that's changed from the above list is that the JMM Board have agreed to meet if and when required: but I keep them up to date by email. Also I've given up the idea of seniors' athletics - too much like hard work (and I get plenty of exercise walking with counseling clients).

Rowland Croucher

28. REGRETS

2009-11-10T14:36:00.003-08:00

My main regret is not giving more quality time to our two eldest children; another is my sometimes taking my beautiful wife for granted; another is my occasional one-sentence 'boo-boos' which ruined the whole presentation to a few groups/churches (to which I was not ever since invited back!).

How do people describe me? I don't get much negative feedback about myself, because I think I have very few enemies - and maybe not sufficient close friends (the only two groups who'll tell you the truth about yourself). A Bible College principal where I taught recently smilingly said I'm commonly described as the Australian church's 'Paul Hogan' (the larrikin you saw in the movie Crocodile Dundee).

During the 1980s when editor of World Vision's GRID leadership letter I was apparently read more than any other Australian Christian (we had a quarterly circulation of 23,000 at one stage). They were heady years in terms of changing the thinking of the church. During the 1970s - 1990s I may have spoken to more clergy face to face individually and in conferences than anyone else I know in Australia. That baton has now passed to others...

I enjoy being undefined, personally and theologically! If that is to be idiosyncratic, so be it. I'm conservative (believing in the reality of Satan, the Devil, for example); progressive (I don't like the way creeds and constitutions constrict belief and behavior); radical (read my articles on social justice on the JMM website); catholic (God wasn't dead or asleep for the 1000 years prior to the Protestant Reformation); evangelical (I'm wary of a system which supplants the authority of the scriptures with 'other/higher' authorities, like church/tradition, experience or reason); liberal (I'm not an inerrantist: having a belief about the Bible which the Bible doesn't have for itself is odd); charismatic (I'm mostly comfortable in Pentecostal/Charismatic praise settings, except for their smaltzy music, and believe all the Spiritual gifts are available for all time).

I regard others - everyone - as a miracle. Professionally, the idea that drives my thinking is the prevailing clericalism of the church-as-institution, which when expounded people agree is a problem, but they also feel there's not much that can be done by way of cure.

Rowland Croucher

July 2001, Updated May 2007

30. MENTORS: JOHN STOTT

2009-11-10T14:32:00.004-08:00

Who are the people who have influenced me most?

Intellectually: look at my 100 recommended books.

Maturationally: George Clark, my Sunday School teacher when I was a teenager. He alone helped me believe in myself.

Ecclesiologically: probably Rev. (now Bishop) Dudley Foord. He gave me the idea that a pastor should stretch his/her people in every way.

Pastorally: Rev. Tom Keyte, one of my colleagues at Blackburn Baptist Church. He had lots of pastoral wisdom, and a gift for saying profound things in few words.

Spiritually, in terms of commitment: 'Uncle' John Clark in the Brethren Assembly of my childhood; and some of the people I've worked with, like Alan Marr, Rod. Denton, Robert Colman; and some of the 'saints' in the churches I've pastored: people like Joyce Emerson at Narwee, Sally Glanville and Marg Dyer at Blackburn.

Theologically: John Stott, John Claypool, Richard Rohr.

Radically: Dom Helder Camara, Francis of Assisi.

*****

JOHN STOTT:
SOME PERSONAL REFLECTIONS

prompted by reading the two-volume biography of Stott by Timothy Dudley-Smith (IVP 1999, 2001).

John Stott (1921- ) is the English-speaking world's highest-profile and most acclaimed 'evangelical'. It has been said that if Evangelicals around the world were to elect a Pope, he would be front-runner. Personally he didn’t like the label ‘conservative evangelical’, preferring something like ‘radical conservative evangelical’. We have lunched together, corresponded a bit, mentioned each other 'in despatches' and in 2001 Jan and I were privileged to attend his 80th birthday (pictured left) celebration at London’s Royal Albert Hall (where he spoke for five or six minutes: a brilliant, carefully crafted summary of his Christian philosophy and commitment) - a great man, who has, with C S Lewis, influenced more undergraduates around the world in the last half-century towards an informed acceptance of the Christian faith than anyone else.

I first encountered John Stott the author through reading his Basic Christianity when at Teachers’ College in 1957. It was lucid, and made sense and with C S Lewis’s Mere Christianity gave me a foundation for understanding Christ’s claims about himself – and Christ’s claims on my life.

Later, when I was an InterVarsityFellowship staffworker (I think about 1970), I was privileged to have an hour’s lunch with him. Our discussion mainly centred around Charismatic Renewal: and was probably one of hundreds of ‘inputs’ into his thinking between his two publications on the subject - The Baptism and Fullness of the Holy Spirit and Baptism and Fullness. The latter publication had a much more inclusive, accepting and irenic approach to the broad subject. I like to think I might have helped a little with that. I knew that John Stott got a lot of letters (his biographer says about 30 a day, six days a week), and I later – probably a year later – wrote to him, beginning as so many correspondents did, ‘You probably won’t remember me…’ and within a month I got a hand-written, one page response: ‘Of course I remember you…’ He certainly did: he had a prodigious memory for people’s names. We must also have exchanged views on homosexuality: in his note he recommended Davidson’s book The Returns of Love. Fifteen years later he commended me to a Baptist congregation in Vancouver, British Columbia, which called us to pastoral leadership. He also must have read my little book Recent Trends Among Evangelicals: he cited it a couple of times in his book Evangelical Truth: A Personal Plea for Unity, Integrity and Faithfulness (1999).

I’ve sat in his audiences many times – at university missions, in public convention centres, at All Soul’s Langham Place, and, a couple of years ago, at a couple of public meetings in Melbourne (one of them in the auditorium of a church I pastored – Blackburn - now Crossway - Baptist Church).I was one of the 3600 leaders from 190 nations who participated in the July 1989 Lausanne II Congress on World Evangelization in Manila, the Philippines (where John Stott worked so hard as chairman of the drafting committee, trying to incorporate all our theological and missiological ideas into the Manila Manifesto that he was incapacitated with a severe headache).

The influence of someone on your thinking can be measured by what-is-remembered-when about that person. I remember, for example, his brilliant talk on evangelical inclusiveness – ‘Let’s not Polarize’ – at the Pharmacy College auditorium in Melbourne. (The four ‘polarizations’: intellect and emotion, conservative and radical, form and freedom, evangelism and social action – a plea for unity, liberty and charity). I remember where I was (holidaying in Lord Howe Island) when I read the first (513-page) volume of Timothy Dudley-Smith’s biography of Stott. I’ve just Googled our website – it has 172 references to Stott; my ‘Desktop Google’ has 1141.

I am about 17 years his junior, but our journeys have been remarkably similar. We both had fathers who were emotionally distant (his relationship with his surgeon-father was ‘turbulent and elusive’ (Vol.1:333). And mothers who nurtured our faith. When, at the age of 70 John Stott was asked to look back on those who had influenced his life, he chose his mother and father first. I’m 70 this year, and would now respond the same way, and in that same order.Each of us was invited to speak to youth groups/camps at an early age (I at 13; John Stott as a Uni. Freshman). He writes: ‘I blush when I remember some of the naïve and even downright erroneous notions I taught.’ So do I. We both love browsing in secondhand bookshops, we’re both ornithologists (I’m much more amateurish), and both wore out a couple of portable typewriters.

I too was ‘formed’ in terms of both evangelicalism and evangelism at Scripture Union/Crusader camps/missions, and as a leader with the InterVarsity Fellowship. He says ‘I sometimes wonder on which scrapheap I would be today if it had not been for God’s providential gift of the (Cambridge) UCCF… The Christian Union brought the friendships, teaching, books and opportunities for service which all helped me to stand firm and grow up. I am profoundly grateful.’ So am I. We were both ‘traveling secretaries – or Staffworkers – with IVF. He had a ‘great burden’ for the ‘intelligentsia’ of the world, a neglected ‘mission-field’ he thought. (So do I).

He wasn’t used to ‘failing’: he only got a 2.1 in German at University! (I actually ‘failed’ in several undergraduate subjects).

I too was a Dispensationalist until I received more wisdom about eschatological hermeneutics (in his case from his friend John Wenham; in mine by reading Henriksen’s commentary on the Book of Revelation, More Than Conquerers).For both John Stott and myself ‘theological college’ wasn’t an inspiring experience. He writes: ‘Little that we were given by lecturers appeared to be original… most was culled from… books, so it saved lots of time to go straight to their sources. [One lecturer said to him]: “Let me see, you attended one of my lectures once”.’ (I managed to avoid one lecturer for three out of my four years). ‘Theological study did not even pretend to be much of a preparation for the ministry. It was more of an academic… exercise for the solving of intellectual problems. To study theology was to enter a spiritual wilderness… The activities at Ridley Hall [mostly] interfered with the real work I felt called to do. The staff were patient with my spiritual arrogance and critical attitudes and I am sure now that I would have grown in my knowledge of God far more had I been a little more humble and positive in my approach… We used to write letters during… lectures because we didn’t get anything out of them.’ Ditto, ditto, ditto… same here (see the chapter on Narwee Baptist Church and theological college in this blog)

We both pastored churches that saw 300-400 attending grow into multi-staffed ‘megachurches’. (He stayed as rector of All Souls’ from 1950-1975, and was thereafter Rector Emeritus. I was at Blackburn Baptist Church – now Crossway – for 8 years, 1973-1981). And he (too) was pained by the opposition and/or jealousy of clergy colleagues who saw their churches shrink while All Souls’ kept growing. We both majored on empowering the church to minister to itself. Stott used to say ‘Appointing ten curates would not get all the ministry done!’ Right on!I too served on a council of the Evangelical Alliance. He and I both admire Billy Graham (though neither of us would agree entirely with what I would call Billy’s simplistic gospel theology). John Stott’s verdict on why so many in the UK responded to Billy Graham’s call for a ‘decision’: ‘I believe Billy was the first transparently sincere preacher these people have ever heard’. If you think that’s a put-down of his country-people, it was. Stott used to talk about his coming across sometimes as an emotionless ‘cold fish’ with the natural reserve of a typical Englishman.

I know or have met many of the people mentioned in these two volumes – Dudley Foord, John Reid, Ian Hore-Lacy, John Prince, J I Packer, Stuart Piggin, Chua Wee Huan, David Watson, James Houston…

We both depend on our diaries to make sense of our programs. John Stott’s ‘large Filofax diary [was] never out of his hand.’ (If I lost my diary I’d lose my mind, I think. The deacons in the first church I pastored – Narwee Baptist, in Sydney – used to play tricks on me by snitching my diary!). John Stott took making promises so seriously that he would repeatedly ask his staff when they were to do a task ‘You have made a note of it, haven’t you?’ And he hated wasting time, so found long car-drives tedious. (So do I. I like Australian intellectual/politician Barry Jones’ remark that he has only one hate, moving physical objects across the face of the earth, including himself!).

Stott somewhere noted this comment about London’s three best-known Methodist preachers (who were at their peak when he also began preaching in a West End London church): ‘Sangster loved the Lord; Weatherhead loved his people, while Soper loved an argument!’ Sangster is one of my heroes; I’ve read quite a bit of Weatherhead; and I’ve heard Soper preach in Hyde Park, London, which he did regularly for many years. Interesting about Leslie Weatherhead: John Stott got this letter from him: ‘Thank you for writing Basic Christianity. It has led me to make a new commitment of my life to Christ. I am old now – nearly 78 – but not too old to make a new beginning’ (1:457).I agree with Stott about the primacy of the authority of Scripture over other spiritual authorities, and have a similar hesitancy about affirming the Bible’s inerrancy (something which the Bible does not assert for itself). Stott’s preferred form of words (from the Lausanne Covenant, for which he was criticized by North American evangelicals in particular): ‘Scripture is without error in all that it affirms: not everything contained in Scripture is affirmed by Scripture’.

But we are a little apart on some other theological matters. He’s an Anglican, I’m Baptist, so we have differing ‘ecclesiologies’. He tends to major on the forensic/ substitutionary aspects of the Atonement; I’m broader on that whole question. Stott doesn’t like the idea of a woman being a rector or a bishop: Jan and I were the Australian Baptists’ first ‘clergy couple’.

On the question of hell, he rejects both universalism and the terrible notion of ‘eternal conscious torment’, and holds to a ‘conditional immortality’ view: ‘the annihilation of the wicked’ (for which he was scolded by J I Packer, but commended by F F Bruce, who wrote to him, ‘annihilation is certainly an acceptable interpretation of the relevant New Testament passages’). I’d lean more towards universalism: how could creatures made like God be wiped out forever? (But I don't call myself a 'universalist', though I would not be surprised if God is!).

He’s skeptical about the contemplative tradition (his idea of a ‘desert retreat’ is to catalogue the birds he spots!): there’s no suggestion, I think, anywhere in these two volumes of ‘a mind at rest’: John Stott’s active mind roams from theology to ornithology and back again (he can sit for 10-12 hours at a stretch studying and writing at his retreat-place, so long as he has his binoculars handy!). He didn’t like the terms ‘spirituality’ or ‘spiritual formation’: ‘the biblical idea is discipleship.’ And he is dismissive of habitual auricular confession: ‘God’s normal and natural way is not to send us to the confessional but to confront us with himself through his Word.’ I wonder what he does with James 5:16? Stott also has a slightly more critical appraisal of the ecumenical movement than I do: ‘the World Council of Churches uses Scripture as a drunk uses a lamp post, namely for support, rather than for illumination’ (2:204).John Stott says that in his early adulthood he had no literary ambitions. I think I did…

He was very human: he too had the classical preacher’s dream of mounting the pulpit and believing he’d not prepared his sermon. And he was humble: he resisted being lionized and thus had a practice of disengaging himself from the high opinions others have of him.

Several times in these two volumes there’s a reference to Stott’s sexuality (eg. 1:329ff.): was he single because of a ‘latent homosexual inclination’ (factor in his difficult relationship with the same-sex parent; his bachelor-mentor; his habit of swimming naked with boys at his retreat-place, his close relationships with his male research assistants etc.)? No, he was heterosexual: twice he met women he could have married; but ‘I’m not in favour of vows of celibacy’. I remember hearing him joke about all this… ‘I study birds… the feathered kind!’. He often says ‘I could not have traveled or written as I have done if I had had the responsibilities of family’ (1:330). True.

Like John Stott I’ve been something of a ‘lone ranger’ in terms of an accountability group: he did not set one up until he was 65, but wished he had done so earlier (1:264).

Criticisms by fellow-evangelicals over this and that ‘got to’ John Stott. He quotes Lord Shaftesbury, the great evangelical social reformer: ‘High Churchmen, Roman Catholics, even infidels, have been friendly to me; my only enemies have been Evangelicals.’ My ‘enemies’ (too strong a word, I think) have been those to the right of my theological stance, not those to the left.

I thank God regularly for the privilege of knowing John Stott, the man and his ideas.
Rowland Croucher

31. C S LEWIS

2009-11-10T14:32:00.003-08:00

32. W E SANGSTER

2009-11-10T14:32:00.001-08:00

33. JOHN CLAYPOOL

2009-11-10T14:31:00.001-08:00

34. RICHARD ROHR

2009-11-10T14:28:00.001-08:00

35. IDEAS

2009-11-10T14:27:00.002-08:00

I love reading, and have just finished the second-best book I’ve ever read on How to Read and Why (Harold Bloom, Scribner, 2000). The best? Eugene Peterson’s Take and Read (Eerdmans, 1996). I’ve noted the following to read (or read again): Guy de Maupassant’s Madame Tellier’s Establishment, Hemingway’s The Sons of Kilimanjaro, Shakespeare’s King Lear and Hamlet. (Bloom is a Bardolater: he mentions Shakespeare on just about every page and believes Shakespeare defines ‘human as we know it’ (see pp. 115, 199, 201, 203).

The greatest idea I've ever had concerns God's radical grace. And that we middle-class Christians may be the most disadvantaged in the world at understanding unconditional love. We relatively 'good' people have not had to be forgiven much, so as Jesus said we won't identify easily with prodigals, or the marginalized. After all, we got to be where we are by hard work, hard study and thrift.

There have been two exponents of this idea for me:

[1] John Claypool was a progressive Southern Baptist preacher who later joined the Episcopal Church. I subscribed to his printed sermons throughout the 70s and 80s and when they arrived monthly in the mail I would usually stop everything to read them. They still enrich my - and my wife Jan's - preaching.

[2] During the 1980's to the present the Franciscan Richard Rohr. Do a keyword search on the JMM website for some of his brilliant writings.

I believe it’s important not to be naïve about human egocentricity and evil. There’s an interesting bit in Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. He has Lady Bracknell say (as she pulls out her watch): ‘Come dear (Gwendolin rises). We have already missed five, if not six, trains. To miss any more might expose us to comment on the platform.’ As if people are going to notice!

Just this morning (my birthday, December 5) a new idea hit me as I was having my devotions. There's a reading near the beginning of Tuesday morning's (Anglican) office from Ephesians 2:4-7 about the 'immeasurable riches of God's grace.' Now right-wing religious groups (particularly Pharisees) actually measure God's grace. They know how much grace applies to whom, who's in and who's out. Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggeman said in answer to the question 'What's the Old Testament about?: 'It's about a God of grace who often breaks the rules God has set for God's creatures.' Wow!

*****

1. GOD

Today (at Queenscliff, Victoria, Australia on 3 November 2009) my Spiritual Director invited me to consider who God is for me. Here’s what I scribbled:

At the outset, as I approach this awesome subject, I need to assert again my deep ignorance, and take the shoes of arrogance from my feet.

First, God is. I have never seriously doubted God’s existence, encountering God in the lives and commitment of the ‘saints’ in our childhood church, later in the ‘works of God’s hands’ in nature, and ultimately/most importantly – until today – in Jesus, Lover and Lord (the notion of ‘Christ’ may be meaningful for Jews who follow Jesus, but isn’t so much for me). This God is not far from any one of us: in God we live and move and have our being.

God is Being, the life in all living things, and infinite (centre everywhere, circumference nowhere). Our feeble attempts at understanding, describe God as enlivener, enlightener and empowerer of all creatures: God is Creator, God is Truth, God is with us. Christian ‘Spirituality’ is about nothing else.

I also believe God is personal – father/mother/friend. I know the biblical writers used anthropomorphic language in their struggle to depict who God is, but the clear message throughout is that God desires a relationship with me, a relationship, astonishingly, with reciprocal dimensions. This is what’s behind the beautiful Hebrew idea of hesed, which is almost untranslatable into English, but ‘covenant love’ or, better, ‘lovingkindness’ will do for now. (And I will use masculine pronouns for God, if only to remind me that he is for me the ‘Father’ I never had…)

God chose to reveal his ‘nature’ and ‘purposes’ to/for us via some ancient sages, poets and prophets, but ultimately in Jesus of Nazareth. So what is this God like? He is ‘Grace’ (justice-love) and ‘Truth’.

God calls each of us to a special vocation: to serve others in whatever unique ways for which we are destined and equipped. First, our calling is to know him (the main means: prayer) and out of that to communicate his grace and truth. Both prayer and service to others are best done with deeds (plus words if necessary). Occasionally (this is a great mystery for humans) we are equipped to pray and serve better through suffering: being with Jesus ‘outside the camp/ the city walls’ (ie. our social group’s sometimes unhelpful or evil distractions and expectations). It is even good to be thus afflicted, so that we can better learn God’s decrees (Psalm 119:7).

Again: who is the God to whom we pray and whom we serve? God is grace (loving us unconditionally before, as, and after we change, and whether we change or not). And God is holy (beyond any blame, and who gives us truth/laws to that we might better journey towards blamelessness). Love and law are complimentary, as a train is to the railway tracks: all the propulsive power is in the train, but the tracks give direction. Without the tracks our imperfect ideas of ‘loving’ can be selfish or even chaotic; without a train, tracks are sterile – pointing to a destination but powerless to help us get there. People who are preoccupied with the tracks are called legalists or dogmatists: Jesus got very angry with such people.

Now, what is God calling me – Rowland Croucher – to be and do? First to get to know God as well as I can, mainly through prayer. And then to communicate to others what I’ve learned about God (call that ‘evangelism’ if you like – spreading good news - so long as you don’t contaminate that idea with its many contemporary – or even ancient – caricatures). There are three ideas Jesus gave us which are apposite here, and must be placed together. ‘See the harvest? It’s ripe.’ So get a sickle? No: ‘Pray!’ See the people as sheep without a shepherd? So organize them into churches? Not really, or at least initially: ‘have compassion on them’. See the nations of the world? ‘As you have seen me live out my Father’s will, so you do the same where you live and serve.’

As a teenager who’d made a significant and earnest ‘decision to follow Jesus’ I vowed to get as well-equipped as I could to communicate the Gospel to as many people as possible. I handed out gospel tracts. I talked to fellow-students at Bathurst Teachers’ College, many of whom then decided to follow Jesus. I wrote a Gospel slogan on a drain-wall near Kogarah, Sydney, which thousands in passing trains could read (I told no one except my wife, but occasionally heard people in various places talking about it). I phoned radio-commentator Ormsby Wilkins and talked about Billy Graham (and wondered why others couldn’t or wouldn’t spend 10 cents on a phone call to communicate with 100,000 people). I wandered around Australia’s tertiary campuses for three years, conducting evangelistic meetings and training some of the future leaders of our nation. At Blackburn Baptist Church we did some things well and other things poorly, but every week on average during our 8 ½ years three people were ‘converted’. In the last two decades words produced from my keyboard have gone into a dozen books, and these days on to a busy website, into Usenet newsgroups, Facebook, onto some Blogs, and to thousands of emailers…

Now, I confessed to my Spiritual Director, I’m not much good as a pray-er (I’m often too self-sufficient for my own spiritual good). And I get too much of a ‘buzz’ thinking about all those numbers (I was seduced early in life into thinking that more is usually better). I learned too late that ‘ministry’ is not automatically self-nurturing. And I was sometimes too preoccupied with serving the Lord ‘out there’ instead of ‘ministering’ better as a husband and father. Often serving God has been more enjoyable than ‘wasting time with God’ (as Sheila Cassidy so beautifully put it in Prayer for Pilgrims). Sometimes I’ve sabotaged the whole operation with ill-chosen – albeit maybe clever - words and ideas which were too provocative to be useful in a particular context. And when that happened, I’ve been too negatively sensitive to the justly-deserved criticism which ensued. (But on the other hand, Lord, save me from the more secure route where ‘the bland leads the bland’).

So I think (I said to my Spiritual Director) that it’s probably time to be put out to pasture in 2010, travel less and write more, engage in no self- and very little ministry-promotion, and enjoy my 72nd year listening more attentively to God and sharing the Good News with more folks on-line. (And, Lord, you know that at this time I’m more than ready for a sabbatical).

2. GRACE

After God (or is it better to say ‘in association with God’?) grace is the biggest and best idea I’ve heard of. Today I read again Frederick Buechner’s well-known words:

Grace is something you can never get but only be given. There’s no way to earn it or deserve it or bring it about any more than you can deserve the taste of raspberries and cream or earn good looks or bring about your own birth.

A good sleep is grace and so are good dreams, Most tears are grace. The smell of rain is grace. Somebody loving you is grace. Loving somebody is grace…

A crucial eccentricity of the Christian faith is the assertion that people are saved by grace. There’s nothing *you* have to do. There’s nothing you *have* to do. There’s nothing you have to *do*.

The grace of God means something like this: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you *are* because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It’s for you I created the universe. I love you.

There’s only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you’ll reach out and take it.

Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.

(Wishful Thinking, 33-34).

3. OTHER PEOPLE.

Of half-a-dozen tertiary courses, the most interesting for me were not those about theology, but a Masters' in Education, focussing in the area of Social Psychology. What makes humans tick - especially when they're with other humans?

This led me into Family Theory and Family Systems: especially the needs of children for love, belonging, discipline, competence/serving others etc. and also into Institutional behavior by adults: what causes institutions - all institutions - to be degenerative? Why are humans so crazy about accruing power and prestige in institutions? Why - in the church - is clericalism (the idea that a certain religious caste has certain prerogatives others don't have) such an insidious evil?

Re institutions being degenerative: a Facebook friend wrote: The disease of institutionalism is a fruit of human fallibility of course. Human desires for security, for making a name for oneself, so feed the system that it takes on a life of its own, and cannibalises the very ones who think it will give them what they want...

There's also the theological concept of imago dei: all humans are God-like. 'New heavens and a new earth' are being prepared for all creatures. All? Yes, I think God is a universalist: but God has not given us fallible humans enough information for us to be dogmatic about all that...

4. PARADIGM SHIFTS.

Some of the 'new ideas' which have crept up on me over time have included (in no particular chronological or hierarchical order):

* A concern for social justice

* God's alerting the worldwide church about the humanity and dignity of those born with a same-sex orientation

* Ministry as empowerment (also a subset of the social justice idea)

* God's special gifts to all - yes all - branches of his Son's Church. Like contemplative prayer (some Catholics), the dynamic doctrine that 'God was in Christ' (Conservative Christians), reverence for God's revelation in Scripture without its being linked to notions of inerrancy (Progressives), radical discipleship (many front-line groups who are getting their hands dirty helping the poor), charismatic renewal (Pentecostals) vs. the 'routinization of charisma' (pragmatists)... and so on and so on.

5. THE INTERNET

AND FINALLY, MY INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE SELF.

* I want to love and live for God with 'all that is within me' (Psalm 103).

* I need to be guided in saying 'yes' to strategic things and 'no' to everything else (and feel OK about all that). When I invited my hero Dom Helder Camara to write a chapter for one of my books, he replied (in Portugese): 'If the Lord gives, I will give.' Beautiful!

36. PHILOSOPHY OF MINISTRY

2009-11-10T14:27:00.001-08:00

37. WHO AM I?

2009-11-10T14:26:00.002-08:00

I began to write this some years ago at the beginning of a period of retreat/ reflection (14 November 1999). My task until June 2000 was to figure out who I was/am, where I can be more fully aligned with God's will for my life, and how I can live more simply. An interesting (!) byproduct of this journey (the Desert Fathers and Mothers also experienced this sort of thing in their solitude) is that I am sometimes attacked by negative thoughts about myself and my journey. I am regularly recollecting the dozen times I got into trouble for speaking my mind. I have never knowingly (I hope) set out to hurt anyone with my words, but I have certainly offended stuck-where-they-were 'permission-witholders' occasionally.

This all relates to the important question my favorite preacher John Claypool used to ask: 'Who is my audience?'

Reviewing the most 'successful' pastorates recently - at Narwee and Blackburn - I honestly cannot recall uttering an unkind word to anyone in those congregations. (We were 'attacked' in other ways then). These days I counsel hurt pastors who enjoy recounting episodes of 'one-upmanship' - yes, they're males.

At a Richard Rohr conference in Canberra in the late 1990s Richard said that at his first retreat at Merton's hermitage he was similarly invaded with negative thoughts about himself. [Here's a sermon on What to do with your Regrets: That's the subject for another post].

MY PET PEEVES.

In random order:

1. HOLLYWOOD CONTRIVANCES. There are very few actors who don't come across as 'camera fakes' (Robert Redford, Jack Nicolson would be two exceptions... others?). Also I find special effects fascinating. Whilst my wife held my hand tightly in Evan Almighty - when a huge flood swept the ark away to Washington DC - I was thinking (as I usually do at these traumatic cinematic moments) 'How did they do that?'

2. CLOSED MINDS. My first encounters with closed minds were in the Brethren Assembly I attended as a boy: but generally those elders could discuss their differences congenially. Not always: Mr. Clines and Mr. Messer had a public row about whether it was right to play hymns from a radio 'in church'. Mr. Clines believed radio waves were controlled by the Devil ('the prince of the power of the air') - and was the one with the raised voice in this argument (remember the preacher's margin-note: 'Point weak: shout!'). He later relented when the family doctor suggested that his wife's loneliness and depression could be helped by a radio in the home.

The second experience I remember was a communication from John R Rice, an American fundamentalist, whose paper 'The Sword of the Lord' I used to get as a young teacher. I disagreed with something in a letter to him, and he wrote a two-page diatribe accusing me of all sorts of things (including 'formalism'!!!) which were not true... That experience helped me to see fundamentalism - at least his brand of it - for what it was...

PERSONALITY TYPE

According to a Facebook personality type inventory taken tonight (21/7/2008) I'm now INTP (but the last two times - 15+ years ago - when I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Inventory Test, I came up with INTJ... Oh well...).

The Theorist

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

INTPs are known for their quest for logical purity, which motivates them to examine universal truths and principles. They are constantly asking themselves and others the questions 'Why?' and 'Why not?' Clear and quick thinkers, they are able to focus with great intensity on their interests. They appreciate elegance and efficiency in thought processes and require them, even more so, in their own communications. They may be seen as unwilling to accept what everyone else regards as truth. While often low key in outward appearance and approach, the INTP is 'hard as nails' when challenging a truth. INTPs do not like to deal with the obvious. They are at their best in building conceptual models and developing unusual and complex ideas.

As children, INTPs are inwardly focused, often enjoying their own thoughts more than the company of others. They are full of questions, sometimes voiced, most often not. INTP children often challenge and even stump their elders. They enjoy fantasy, mysteries, inventing, thinking and doing things that may be somewhat atypical for other children of their age, and they sense their uniqueness early on. If INTPs are fond of books or games, it is likely that their choices will be the current rage. If an INTP is fond of music, it is likely to be of an unusual sort.

INTPs tend to either respect and go along with society's rules, or to question and rebel against them. Their response to these rules depends on how the rules might affect them. When INTPs do not like the rules, they are quick to find the flaws in the rule-makers' thinking, regardless of their status, position in the hierarchy, or renown.

As young adults choosing careers, INTPs either set a course and work toward it quietly yet forcefully or continue to resist and rebel against society's expectations and irrational rules. They may either focus in depth on a major interest or move from one interest to another without showing others - friends, colleagues, and bosses - their reasons why. It is the process, the quest, that has been most interesting to them. Once they have found the answer, they do not often share it because the answer is obvious, and documenting the obvious is redundant. This attitude includes a tendency not to respond or speak up in groups, because the INTP feels that what he or she was going to say seems so obvious that no one would want to hear it. As INTPs mature, they continue their quest for logical purity, but now it includes more balance in their activities.

Learning and Working

The INTP is a relentless learner in areas that hold his or her interest. They often seem 'lost in thought,' and this characteristic appears very early. INTPs enjoy the life of the mind and the learning process, regardless of whether that process takes place in a formal sense. They are often characterized as life-long learners.

In school, well-rounded INTPs work on their assignments with a great deal of inward energy and interest that is usually not apparent to others. They tend to connect unrelated thoughts. As learners, they are able to find logical flaws in the thinking of others. They analyze these flaws and find ideas for further study. They go to great depths in their analysis.

In taking exams, they prefer theoretical questions. When INTPs view a test, teachers, or subjects as irrelevant, they may respond as follows: 'I know what I need to know about this topic; I may even know more than my teacher. The teacher made this test, and this test is dumb. Therefore, my teacher is dumb, and I will not do the test.' Because of such reactions, the INTP's academic record may include successes or may be filled with failures.

INTPs contribute a logical, system-building approach to their work. They like being the architect of a plan, because of the scheming and thinking involved, far more than being the implementer of that plan. Implementation tends to be drudgery. They are content to sit back and think about what might work, given their view of the situation. INTPs may ignore standard operating procedures. The hours that they spend are not what is important to them, but rather the completion of their thought process. When their projects are of interest to them, they can become mesmerized and may even work through the night. when their projects are not intriguing, their work is considered drudgery, and the INTP finds it difficult to stay motivated.

INTPs usually find a place in their work for using their logical and structured thinking. They enjoy work that allows them to abstract, to generalize beyond the data, and to build models. Flexibility is desired because INTPs like to 'do the job when they want to do it and as they want to do it.' They also prefer occupations in which the hierarchy is minimal and not important. This attitude stems from their firm belief that, to be legitimate, a hierarchy should be built on the competency of individuals who are logically placed according to their talents.

Some occupations seem to be more attractive to INTPs: biologist, chemist, computer programmer, computer system analyst, lawyer, photographer, psychologist, researcher, surveyor, writer, and other occupations that allow them to use their logical thinking in appropriate ways.

Loving

For the INTP, love has three distinct phases: falling in, staying in, and getting out. These phases relate to their thinking preference and its need for order and sequence.

An INTP characterized falling in love as a stage of complete loss of rationality that may last a year or less. When an INTP falls in love, he or she falls hard - an all or nothing phenomenon. At this stage, INTPs are likely to be very lively, almost giddy, in their new love. The experience rushes over them and carries them along. They do not structure or control it but simply enjoy and experience it. They do many loving things and they are curious about their loved one and are able to overlook his or her flaws. They may bravely ignore the realities of distance, weather, and time to be with the loved one.

As relationships progress to the staying-in-love phase, INTPs begin to evaluate their structure and form. They may withdraw at this point because they are moving toward their more customary inward style. Outward demonstrations of affection occur less frequently, and the giddy state changes. Interactions are more matter of fact, perhaps even impersonal. INTPs take their commitments to their partner seriously; however, they may not discuss these commitments at any length with their partner or with other people, because their commitments seem so obvious to them.

Falling out of love, which may not always occur, results from an analysis of the real expectations and needs of the relationship. Often an undefined line is crossed that neither partner knows about ahead of time. However, the INTP knows after the line has been crossed, and then the relationship deteriorates or ends. If INTPs recognize their emotions and needs as valid, they are able to sever relationship ties fairly cleanly. However, if they misjudge their own needs and those of their partner, the breakup can be messy, perhaps affecting other aspects of their lives for a long time. If the INTP shares some common interests with the former loved one, the relationship continues but on a different level. When INTPs have a reason to continue relationships, they do so.

*****

Here are some interesting prayers for each personality type.

*****

And a few of my favourite things:

Hymns: (Which don't necessarily coincide with others'): When I Survey; Jesus, Joy of Loving Hearts (which I'm rewriting to excise archaisms); Because He Lives (special to us as we left Blackburn Baptist Church to go to Vancouver). 60's - Be Exalted O God, 70s - Because He Lives.

Quotes:

The quote which, more than any other, helped rescue me from fundamentalism: ‘The worst evils in the world are not done by evil people, but by good people who do not know they are not doing good’
– Reinhold Niebuhr

'Charity is no substitute for justice withheld' (St. Augustine). (Ask Dawn Rowan!)

38. IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

2009-11-10T14:26:00.001-08:00

My weight, as at 3/07: 93 kilos.

I've just spoken (Friday 13th Feb. 2009) with my GP after a blood test. Briefly: 'Vitamin D 83 - 'OK', Blood Sugar 4.6 - 'normal', Cholesterol - 5.4, NDL - 3.5 - 'balances out', PSA 5.4 - 'normal'. Some of you will know what all this means (I avoided a lot of this in my academic studies)!

But apparently, as I said to my wife Jan after the phone call, 'I'm gonna live a while yet, barring serious illnesses/accidents. Better get used to it :-)!'

I've had a dream run through life in terms of illness/accidents. Tonsils and adenoids removed when I was about seven (I remember the ice-cream and lemonade); the usual childhood illnesses - measles, mumps etc.; fell off bikes of course: every boy has to do that; collided with a fence-railing at Mortdale Primary School chasing a football, but all that did was leave a bit of a scar on my cheek; got crushed by half a dozen Rugby Union forwards at Teachers' College - strained chest muscles; walked through ashes on a hillside when about 21 - a few burns; then right through adulthood nothing more than a couple of biopsies when the urologist figured my PSA levels were jumping around too much; Delhi Belly in Bangladesh, Montezuma's Revenge in Mexico; a sore back sometimes - when I haven't walked enough; a couple of wounded cartileges in my fingers catching footballs the wrong way...

How can one go right through life, playing a lot of contact sports, and never have a broken bone? Well, all I can say is that the good Lord wanted me to stay healthy to bother more people more often with more words about the Good News!

Sorry about that!

April 2009 footnote: This week's visit to the Doctor (for flu shots for both of us, plus a pneumonia shot for Jan - which left her with a sore/swollen upper arm for 3-4 days), revealed that my blood pressure is 120/76 ('OK'); but Jan's is 145/89 (seated), 142/80 (lying down) - ('a bit high').

CONVERSATION WITH MY UROLOGIST Wednesday December 7, 2011 (hopefully the last).

I'll make this as discreet as possible, but a warning: if you don't like reading medical stuff, you'd better skip it. For some here this could be important. My prostate was removed (TURP for those in the know) 4 weeks ago yesterday. I'll preserve the anonymity of the doctor, but I was his last patient for the day, so we had a nice relaxed chat...

Dr (after the usual 'How are you's?' This Dr - as do many in his profession - has an economy with words - and with information that isn't prompted by patients. Don't blame him): Well, Mr Croucher, it was benign. No cancer. That's the best news I can ever give to anyone.

Moi: Thank you so much!

Dr: How's your 'flow'?

Moi: As strong as it was about 30 years ago! And colour's gone from red to brown to orange to natural these days. Getting less painful, though a little way to go on that score. I still 'have to go' twice in the night (down from 5 or 6 times), depending on how much I drink in the second half of my waking-time.

Dr: That's all to be expected. And do you sometimes have little warning?

Moi: In the early days, yes. I had to buy some ‘continence underwear’ for that.

Dr: Yes, that’s common too.

Moi: Is dehydration likely to be any sort of problem if I drink nothing from 2-3 om onwards?

Dr: No, not at all, but drink plenty in the first half of your day.

Moi; You said you took out a 'mandarin-sized' inner part of the prostate in this TURP operation. But how big was the mandarin?

Dr: Slightly smaller than a tennis ball.

Moi: Regarding the other aspect of the functioning of that part of my system, I'm half-way there. Is that about usual?

Dr: Yes, give it a little more time.

Moi: Haemerroids: I have a bit of a problem there, and with some constipation.

Dr: That's common. The pain in one nearby area [I'm laicizing the language] sometimes leads to those issues. That will heal of its own accord, but some ointment might help.

Moi: By the way, the Flomaxtra didn't help much before the operation, and it was expensive.

Dr: Uh-huh, that's common.

Moi: I have a cardiologist friend who suggests taking a small amount of aspirin each day. Do you agree with that?

Dr: Yes, now that we’re past the operation.

Moi: I have a profound admiration for your work. I can't understand how someone can devote their life to such a profession!

Dr: I have the best job in the whole medical industry. My heart-surgeon friends don't have the high success rate we do, and paediatricians tell me they get fed up with all the crying of kids.

Moi: That's gratifying... So, are you saying I don't need to bother you again? [Then followed a brief discussion of my profession as a counsellor of clergy, and he told me he was an atheist. I'll keep that to just us two...]

Dr: Yes, unless there's anything else that's a problem in that area. I'm someone who enjoys people saying to me "I don't want to see you again!"

39. G L B T I

2009-11-10T14:24:00.000-08:00

40. INTERNET MINISTRIES

2009-11-10T14:23:00.000-08:00

41. DAWN ROWAN

2009-11-10T14:22:00.000-08:00

42. BAPTIST UNION OF VICTORIA

2009-11-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

I have been privileged to have been 'in fellowship' with the Baptists in Victoria for 35 years, since migrating here from N.S.W.

The ethos of the Baptist Union north of the Murray River is quite a contrast to that south of the river. In the 1970s a couple of NSW Baptist Union leaders visited some of us in Victoria, after hearing that 31 (if I recall) NSW-trained pastors were serving in various ministries in Victoria, but only two graduates of Whitley College were in ministry in NSW. Why and why? My response: there is a greater openness to and acceptance of diversity in Victoria. The majority of the half-dozen largest Baptist churches in Australia were in Victoria, and there was a warmer acceptance of innovation here. On the other hand, pastors in NSW got the impression, rightly or wrongly, that the NSW 'Union' was a bunch of people in George St - and they existed to support the 'Union', whereas in Victoria it was the other way around. Here we don't have the constant and passionate appeals for money which I received regularly in NSW.

Another dimension to all this is that 'Whitley College' has the smell of liberalism to the more conservative NSW folks. The flip-side to that is that I counted, I think, 13 Victorian Baptist clergy in the 1970s who had doctorates - more than all the other states combined.

By the way, what happened to the report by those NSW 'heavies'? Nobody knows, and a few enquiries to people around at that time resulted in puzzlement: they'd heard nothing. Fairly typical.

I'm not an institutional person, so haven't been omnipresent at Baptist Union meetings. I've spoken at various Union and pastors' conferences in Victoria. I got involved with the Athol Gill debacle (see also here). I was a member of the Advisory Board (which tries to 'marry' pastors and churches) for some years in the 1970s, the committee to organize Baptist pastors' retreats, and a Uniting Church/Baptist discussion group (which, in terms of progress towards greater cooperation, came to almost nothing after several years of somewhat fruitless discussions).

One or two contributions to Baptist Assemblies and commissions have been interesting - especially the debates about Open Membership and homosexuality. Re the latter, see here, and here and here. I was reminded of this today from a post to the Victorian Baptist Ministers' Network Yahoo group:

'Indeed, as Rowland said some years ago when the BUV was debating its responses to homosexual people, too many of our churches haven't even learned to be accepting and supportive of celibate straight people, so we're kidding ourselves if we think we are able to back up a call to gays to be celibate with anything like the affirmation and support that would make that look like a realistic possibility. Peace and hope, Nathan Nettleton.' (Reproduced with Nathan's permission).

43. POSTSCRIPT - Travel, Music

2009-11-10T14:19:00.000-08:00

Some miscellaneous notes:

TRAVEL: When I joined Facebook I was asked to list the countries I've been privileged to visit.
Here they are, roughly in chronological order: Australia, PNG (14x), Philippines, NZ (8-10x), USA(10-12x), Vietnam, Canada, Mexico, UK (10-12x), the Republic of Ireland, Sweden, Germany, France, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Denmark, Finland, Romania, Russia, Fiji, India, Bangladesh, Thailand, Hong Kong, Malaysia about 5-6x), Singapore, Indonesia, Irian Jaya (before it became part of Indonesia), Cyprus, Israel, Egypt, Zambia, Kenya, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Brazil, Taiwan, Noumea, New Caledonia, Lord Howe Island, Norfolk Island (the latter two self-governing islands needed me to take a passport) and, I think, two or three more, when I remember them!).

Best airport? Pittsburgh (because of the beautiful classical music - I've not experienced that anywhere else).

MUSIC: I can still remember where I was - in the Davis's lounge-room - when I first heard the second movement of Beethoven's pathetique piano sonata. And on a school excursion at the Sydney Town Hall when I first experienced a couple of exciting overtures by Mr Crescendo, Rossini. Some music still sends shivers up my spine, like Allegri's 17th century Miserere with its renowned top-C solo.

LGBTIQ: